Is sleeping with other people while you’re married strange or a weird way of assuring your love will last?
The world was shocked this week by a report suggesting that Will and Jada Pinkett Smith were ending their 13-year marriage and that she had been cheating with Jennifer Lopez‘s estranged husband, Marc Anthony, on the set of her show, HawhtoRNe. However, both claims appear to be false: not only have the two issued a statement stating that they’re still together, but she’s also denied a tryst with Marc. Also, it isn’t possible to cheat when you’re in an “open” marriage. But is this kind of relationship weird or just really evolved?
“Our perspective is, you don’t avoid what’s natural,” Will said in an interview. “You’re going to be attracted to people. In our marriage vows, we didn’t say ‘forsaking all others.’ The vow that we made was that you will never hear that I did something after the fact.”
He added, “If it came down to it, then one can say to the other, ‘Look, I need to have sex with somebody. I’m not going to if you don’t approve of it — but please approve of it.’”
Jada has also expressed her thoughts on the subject. “We always have people that we’re attracted to that we talk about. That don’t stop just because your married. Somebody’s always gonna catch your eye. That’s real. Somebody’s gonna always be prettier than me, somebody’s always gonna be more in awe of him than me.”
So OK, having an open relationship is a little weird. We, for the most part, have been raised to believe in monogamy. But is it worse to feel so confined in your relationship that your eyes wander elsewhere, you cheat and thus, screw up your marriage? Or is it better to be in love and sometimes seek sexual satisfaction elsewhere?
An open marriage is only for the highly evolved. It’s such a wonderful concept in theory — take the potential for straying out of the equation — but I don’t believe most women are wired that way. Jealousy and displaced anger could threaten this kind of relationship in the long run if the couple isn’t on the same page, or their feelings on the matter change.
Obviously an open marriage isn’t the norm, but you have to give credence to the fact that it might actually work. In 13 years, no report of infidelity or a troubled marriage has even scratched the surface of Will and Jada’s idyllic relationship — until now. Those are some good odds in Hollywood, where the average relationship is over in the blink of an eye.
Should you try it? Well, that’s up to you — and your partner. Life is all about different strokes for different folks, right?