Selena says an ex-boyfriend — possibly either Taylor Lautner or Nick Jonas — tried to control her. Don’t let the same thing happen to you!
Selena Gomez might be very happy with Justin Bieber now, but a past relationship was so bad that she’s now made the vow to put herself first when it comes to love. The 19-year-old starlet says she couldn’t be herself around an ex. Have you ever felt that way about a guy? Should you be with someone you’re not comfortable around?
“I wasn’t myself for a year. I think that was really damaging. I felt like it was me who was always trying to be perfect for him,” Selena recently told Top of the Pops magazine. “I always dressed nice. I don’t think he ever saw me in sweatpants — and I love sweatpants.”
She continued, “I’d always be well-mannered and go to his favorite restaurants or whatever. There was a point where I lost myself completely. I didn’t smile as much, I didn’t laugh as much. I wasn’t a goofball. I didn’t get up and dance like I usually do.”
Selena admits she morphed into who she thought her ex wanted her to be, but returned to her normal, happy, goofy self shortly after they split up. “When that one ended, I didn’t know where I was. But I got it back and was really happy. My family were happy to have me back.”
The “Who Says” singer added defiantly, “I dare someone to try and change me again.”
Although she and Justin, 17, began dating last year, she’s had a plethora of good-looking, famous exes, including Twilight star Taylor Lautner and Nick Jonas; it is not yet known which former boyfriend she’s referring to.
Regardless, should you be with a guy you can’t be yourself around, or is dumping him a necessity?
A guy can be perfect for you on paper: like Nick and Taylor, he could have a good job, be attractive, sweet, charming to your family and loved by your friends. However, if you don’t feel like it’s right, that’s the most important factor, and you should seriously reconsider why you feel you need to be with him.
People that have truly been in a great relationship will tell you time and time again ‘When it’s right, you’ll know.’ It might annoy you, but they’re right. Love shouldn’t be a struggle.
If you don’t feel comfortable dressing down around him or laughing so hard you’ll snort or letting him see you without makeup, you have to analyze what that means to you and if you’re willing to put up with it. Sure, in the first month or two of a relationship, you want to be your best self — but that should fade away quickly if you’re really getting along and getting to know one another as you should.
If you know he isn’t right for you, don’t waste your time — or his. Let him down gently. You’ll never find Mr. Right if you’re killing time putting up with Mr. Wrong.