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'Toddlers & Tiaras' Recap: Allyson Wants To Be 'Brown Like Beyonce' and Baylen Is Dragged Around The Stage

Wed, August 3, 2011 11:40pm EDT by 9 Comments

Tonight’s episode featured a Quaker competitor, a future Beyonce impersonator, and multiple infants throwing up. Just another day at the office…

After a few episodes that showed some negative aspects of pageants, Toddlers & Tiaras returned to form tonight, featuring a healthy balance of the adorable and the absurd.

One of the contestants featured was Allyson, a 4-year-old with a severe obsession with Beyonce. The only problem? Allyson is white. For the first time in pageant history (that might be slightly exaggerated…), we met a contestant who actually couldn’t wait to get spray tanned. Most girls fidget and run around and scream and cry (see: Baylen), but not Allyson. She stood poised and ready. And when she was done? She couldn’t wait to do it again! Her mom, Kylene, even took her to get one last layer the night before the pageant! Allyson got up on stage and did her thing! I happen to think she should have placed much higher, but Allyson didn’t seem to be in it for the crown (see: Baylen), she was genuinely having a good time!

Baylen, 3, on the other hand, was a nightmare! She was the perfect example of a toddler who has no business competing in pageants. Once she got up onstage, she made if very clear she had no interest in being there. She plopped herself on the floor and allowed herself to be dragged by the sleeves around the stage by her mother, Beth. Wasn’t Beth embarrassed? By the second time, it seemed like she would be ready to throw in the towel, but category after category she got up onstage to drag Baylen around. Baylen, meanwhile, only cared about the gum promised to her at the end of the competition. I was positive that at the end of the episode, Beth would be one of the moms that said, “Baylen’s going to take a few months off from pageants,” but NO! She can’t wait to compete in more. I doubt Baylen feels the same way.

On a side note, what was with the influx of vomiting babies this episode?! I couldn’t believe that multiple infants vomited on their costumes during ONE pageant! Talk about gross!

–Scott Galina