The ladies’ trip to Rome comes to an end, and it’s anything but a smooth landing!
Tonight’s episode picks up right where last week’s left off. Tami walks onto the terrace and throws open Evelyn’s (already open) doors to let Jennifer and Shaunie into the room. When Shaunie enters, Evelyn is watching TV…while listening to her iPod. No wonder she didn’t hear them ringing the doorbell. Evelyn and Jennifer have a tearful (on Jennifer’s part) make up session, which feels right considering it’s been a week since we saw the fight but doesn’t when you remember this is only minutes after Evelyn told Jennifer off.
The girls go out to dinner and we can tell from the music that something bad is going to happen. When Tami arrives at the table, the only seat left is the one next to Meeka. Tami makes all the girls move their seats so she doesn’t have to sit there. There’s an awkward silence as the girls ponder what to order which Tami sees as the perfect time to make fun of the way Meeka talks. She goes on and on with her (insanely inaccurate) Meeka impression while all the girls (except Meeka, obviously) laugh themselves to tears. Meeka tries to defend herself but that only enrages Tami. How dare she be upset that someone is making fun of her to her face in front of all her friends?! Who does she think she is?! Tami tells Meeka she looks like a “Transvestite Mary J. Blige,” while Meeka (if forced to) would have given the “Transvestite Award” to Tami. What about you HollywoodLifers? Which lady in your circle of friends would win the prestigious Meeka Transvestite Award? Come on, everyone has that one friend! Suzie didn’t get to say much during dinner but made sure to get camera time by making ridiculous faces in the background that were impossible to ignore. Meeka apologizes to Tami for misunderstanding their initial argument which Tami ignores. Well, not so much ignores and doesn’t answer which we should all know is Tami’s code for not accepting an apology.
The ladies go to the Trevi Fountain and Tami decides to be the bigger person (soak it up folks, it doesn’t last long) and allow Meeka to be in the picture all the ladies are taking. Heartwarming, no?
Meeka and Suzie meet up for lunch and Meeka reveals that when her and Tami first met, Tami said that she thought there was a real side of the group and a fake side of the group and asked Meeka which she thought she would be on. Already we can see the wheels spinning in Suzie’s head and know that this conversation will not stay between the two of them for long.
Evelyn and Suzie meet up immediately after and Suzie essentially vomits all over her, not waiting minutes before telling Evelyn everything that Meeka had just said. They have a few seconds to debate whether to tell Tami or not before she strolls over. How convenient! Evelyn gets right down to it, relaying what Suzie had just told her. Out of the goodness of her heart, Tami, God of Vacations, says, she was going to let Meeka have a good vacation, but now, she can’t. She then cackles and we can imagine a clap of thunder going off and mere vacationing mortals running for cover. Brace yourselves, here comes the wrath of Tami, God of Vacations.
Evelyn reveals that the trip has been filled with drama when she thought it was going to be smooth rolling. It’s hard to feel bad for her when she’s the one who took the vacation as an opportunity to confront one of her good friends over a potentially friendship ending issue on one of the first few days they were there. How smoothly could it have gone?
The ladies go to a club that looks similar to an unfinished basement. They’re sitting far away from any other people at the club so we know something bad is going to happen. They haven’t even warmed their seats when God of Vacations confronts Meeka about what she said to Suzie. Once again, Suzie is accused of having diarrhea of the mouth. I know it’s not a real condition, but if someone came up with a pill or treatment for diarrhea of the mouth, Suzie could be to it what Sally Field is to Boniva or Jamie Lee Curtis is to the poop yogurt. Tami claims she can’t hear Meeka over the loud music playing in the club, only we can hear that there’s absolutely no music playing at all. Tami moves down the couch so that she’s sitting next to Suzie who’s sitting next to Meeka. Meeka and Tami scream at each other but right into Suzie’s face, creating one of the greatest visuals ever on the show. The fight escalates until God of Vacations knocks Mere Mortal Meeka square in the face. God of Vacations leaps over Suzie onto Mere Mortal Meeka and the two are tangled in brawl straight out of Greek mythology. The fight becomes so violent, God of Vacation’s sacred breast is exposed as the mortal, whose skirt has ridden up revealing her derriere, tries to rip her Godly blouse off. Shaunie stands in a corner and screams the ladies names as the other wives stand around doing nothing. Miraculously two men appear to split the ladies up. They scream the two ladies’ names until Meeka slips out of God of Vacation’s grip and out of the club. Thank heavens those two complete strangers who knew the names of the two women who were fighting were there to separate them.
Meeka composes a note to Shaunie that says she’s leaving Rome and going home to Miami. Shaunie says she can admit that it was a bad idea for Meeka to come because bad things happen when she’s around. I’m more inclined to say that bad things happen when Tami’s around since she’s the one whose behavior is more reminiscent of a “Teenager” than a “Basketball Wife.”
The letter is delivered to Shaunie while she’s with the other ladies and she’s considerate enough to read it out loud without so much as proofreading it to make sure no one’s offended. Well, wouldn’t you know, Meeka really lets her feelings about Tami out in the scathing letter. It’s a good thing she’s not on vacation anymore or else the God would have really had to release her wrath towards Meeka!
On the way to dinner, the remaining ladies decide to stop at the Coliseum. They hobble around the cobblestone, not really able to walk in their high heels. What do you mean the ancient Roman women didn’t wear their Louboutins to the arena?! Jennifer asks where the gladiators are. Again, no one knows if she’s serious.
The ladies wander around looking for the restaurant. Jennifer exclaims, “There’s no restaurants around here!” Cut to: their restaurant is across the street. They’re seated amongst other people so we know nothing bad will happen. The ladies toast the trip and Shaunie says there were good moments and there were bad moments. Clearly the cameras weren’t around for the good moments.
Back in Miami, Meeka confronts Suzie Lee Field about her diarrhea of the mouth. Suzie tells Meeka that she shouldn’t have told those things to Suzie, she should have said them right to Tami. Maybe, Suzie, but what about the fact that SHE DIDN’T WANT TAMI TO KNOW SHE WAS SAYING THOSE THINGS?!
Suzie tells Meeka that she didn’t want Tami to think that she was hiding things from her. And who would? When you’re in Rome with the God of Vacations, you’ll go to any lengths to make sure you don’t feel her wrath.
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