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Bonnie Says: J. Lo — Divorce Was The Right Decision For Your Twins, IF Your Marriage Was Destructive!

Tue, July 19, 2011 8:49am EDT by 9 Comments

I applaud your courage J. Lo, if it’s true that you and Marc Anthony were arguing non-stop — your twins — Emme and Max — WILL be better off that you’ve split.

As a child of divorce, I can tell you firsthand that divorce is AWFUL. It’s awful for the former husband and wife, but it’s even worse for the kids.

All children want their mommy and daddy to be together and they want their mommy and daddy to be together in the same house — their house.

But if mommy and daddy are truly arguing like crazy, then there’s nothing worse than children who can’t go to sleep because their parents are screaming at each other or kids having to tiptoe around the house because their home has become a battlefield.

If it’s true that J Lo and Marc had “argued for months non-stop,” according to a source close to them, and J. Lo “tried everything to make it work,” including marriage counseling, then divorce was most likely the best decision for the entire family.

I just hope J. Lo and Marc, that you really and truly tried everything possible to save your marriage because, every marriage goes through ups and downs and most marriages CAN be saved!

“Every couple argues. Anger is part of being alive and it’s OK for children to see their parents argue as long as the issues get resolved,” says relationship expert, Dr. Gilda Carle of

“But if plates are being thrown and they are yelling and screaming constantly then you don’t want children to see that. They will come to believe that that’s what relationships are, and they will emulate that unhealthy behavior.”

Clinical psychologist Jeff Gardere agrees that every effort should be made to rediscover your love and stay together, BUT if it’s impossible to have a loving marriage, then your kids are better off if you split.

“Every effort in the world should go into saving a marriage including a lot of counseling. Not even cheating need end a marriage,” says Gardere, a contributor to “But if the marriage is very destructive, you don’t want your kids to learn behavior that will be destructive to their own romantic relationships.”

Gardere also speculates that since J-Lo and Marc’s marriage had been so passionate, something must have happened that tore them apart. “I think it was a divorce of passion,” believes Gardere.

Whether the divorce was passionate or not, I’m trusting you J Lo: that you thought about this divorce long and hard and  that you’re doing your best for Emme and Max. I hope so, because their happiness depends on you! Good luck – you’ll be a great single mom.

— Bonnie Fuller