Newsflash, Lindsay Lohan…You're No Swan Queen! Quit Partying & Get Your Act Together…Then Hollywood Will Hire You!

Thu, July 14, 2011 10:06am EDT by 3 Comments

Wow, Lindsay Lohan really needs to get a clue.

What now? Well, according to Jacquelynn Powers, a writer for Plum Miami Magazine who interviewed the notoriously entitled actress—and we’re using the term “actress” lightly, considering it’s difficult to think of a film that she’s been in since 2004′s Mean GirlsLindsay seems to think that she should have been cast in Black Swan, not Natalie Portman!

According to Powers, Lindsay told her she “took ballet until she was 19 and was indignant that she was not considered for the movie Black Swan.” Yes, indignant—she actually believes the casting of Natalie was unjust.

Oy, where do we begin. Let’s start with the obvious: Natalie is a professional, talented actress. Aside from her Oscar win for Black Swan, Natalie has under her belt an Oscar nomination, two Golden Globes, and a New York Film Critics award, among countless other award nominations.

Unlike Lindsay, Natalie hasn’t scared away movie producers and studios with her endless tales of drinking, drug use, rehab stints, disobeying judges’ orders, public spats and Twitter-based feuds with lovers, on-set tardiness, and of course, the late-night clubbing—followed by the seemingly requisite series of paparazzi shots of her stumbling into an SUV with a gaggle of her enablers. Oh, sorry, she seems to think these individuals are her caring and supportive “friends.”

Um, not a good image, Linds. How can you possibly be “indignant” about not landing one of Hollywood’s most-coveted roles, that required an intense amount of preparation, focus and commitment. Do you really think the film’s producers, directors and actors wanted to come to the set of the movie each day wondering if you’d be on time that day? Or show up at all? Or if you’ll be nursing a wicked hangover? And let’s not even get into discussing the drama of trying to insure you. C’mon, get real.

OK, sure you studied ballet. That’s great. I’m sure you can tear it up on the dance floor. But to think you were the best actress for the role—which landed Natalie the Best Actress Oscar for her incredible portrayal as a ballerina with a tortured soul—is downright dellusional!

Sorry hon, you’re no swan queen.

— Bonnie Fuller

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Marie

Posted at 10:18 AM on July 15, 2011  

This whole article made me laugh, and whole heartely agree with everything said in this article. The producers wanted a hit not a flop. I am guessing if they put Lindsay Lohan in the movie is would have had to be renamed to Black Cloud. Oh boy does she really need to get a clue.

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Js

Posted at 12:03 PM on July 14, 2011  

no double L in delusional LOL. Yes, she is delusional

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Molly

Posted at 11:53 AM on July 14, 2011  

Is Lindsay on crack again? God, if directors only want to consider you to play strippers, hookers, and murdered porn stars, you should really wake up and get a clue as to how people see you. She’s a crazy person who needs loads of therapy.

The only difference between LiLo and Portman is that Portman grew up in a family where the parents weren’t crazy and sophomoric. Such a huge difference that having financially well-off, stable, and educated parents with good moral values can have on a kid’s future. The difference between ending up like Lindsay and ending up like Natalie, whose only misfortune is getting stuck pregnant by a stuck up social climber.

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