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Nurseries ARE NOT For The Baby — They're For The Husband Whose Pregnant Wife Keeps Him Awake At Night!

Tue, July 12, 2011 4:00pm EDT by Add first Comment

When sleepless nights happen even before the baby comes, HollyBaby bloggers Sarah and Neil explain who and what nurseries are REALLY for.

Preparing for a baby can be fun, stressful and exhausting. As many people can agree, the sleepless nights start long before the baby even arrives. Can Sarah and Neil make it through an insomnia driven pregnancy? Read on to find out. (P.S. How cute is their Nursery Image Board?)

At a certain point in your pregnancy you switch from overly tired and needing 15 naps a day to “So this is what 3am looks like sober.” The pregnancy insomnia I had was unbearable. I would be so tired all day and couldn’t wait to go to bed, but after 3-4 hours of sleep I would wake up and toss and turn for hours!

This would in turn lead to waking up Neil, the cats and a neighbor or two. The worst part was I was still SO tired, but unable to sleep. I believe this is what leads to many of the spousal murders on Dateline. Haven’t you ever noticed that they are all murdered in their bed, by a spouse in the middle of the night???

At about 3:30am every morning Neil would habitually move to the couch in the nursery and pray for sleep over the next few hours. Now I see it… THIS is why people have nurseries! It is not for the baby, it is a place for one spouse to sleep so that they don’t murder the other spouse. This is why the baby books all tell you to “prepare the nursery early on.” It is not in case the baby comes early, it is so you can sleep before the baby comes!

–Sarah Main

The fact is that I have spent a couple more nights recently in what will henceforth be known as The Nursery. The second bedroom in our apartment has fulfilled many a role in the two years we have lived here; spare room, guest suite, cat hotel, and my favorites, man-cave and wine cellar.

As the room transitions to nursery, with six months of renovations and interior design projects in store, the futon in there has become a kind of second home for me, usually between the hours of 3:30 and 7:15 in the morning.

In the long run though, this could work to our advantage. The time I have spent in there has made me realize that the golf clubs are not a practical baby toy, the color scheme probably needs to be changed from battleship gray to pink or blue, and a picture of monkeys and giraffes is probably more appropriate artwork than a collage of wine labels. However, the remans of the mountain bike hanging from the bike rack could easily double as a mobile for the crib.

–Neil Eggleton

Want more? Check back every Tuesday for ‘A Family Grows in Brooklyn!
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