The Bachelorette spent the night with contestant Ben Flajnik — while she was dating five other guys! Is this wrong or acceptable?
Ashley Hebert is down to six guys on The Bachelorette and although she’s trying to find true love, it seems like she’s actually just getting a whole lot of lovin’ (a.k.a. sex) from many of the men. Is it OK if you’re dating around to get frisky with all of the men you’re seeing or is Ashley completely in the wrong?
On the July 11 episode of the hit reality show, the 26-year-old dental student travels to Taiwan with the six remaining contestants. But Ash simply can’t control her sexual urges, and not only has a sleepover with Ben Flajnik (although they didn’t sleep in the same room), but makes out with Ames Brown and Lucas Daniels on her group date; she also kisses Constantine Tzortzis.
Worst of all, none of these three guys is actually rumored to be the winner! That title reportedly went to J.P. Rosenbaum, who watches a girl he’s starting to fall get frisky with everyone but him.
J.P. confronts her later and says, “To watch you go out with other guys, I don’t want to do it. It’s been terrible. I was not in a good mood. I don’t know anything that’s going on. It made me crazy. I guess it’s jealousy, but I guess it’s kind of normal. When you feel this way about someone, everything changes.”
So, is Ashley in the right to be making moves like a man would — or is her behavior completely inappropriate? Should you follow in her footsteps?
NO! I’m going to liken dating to shopping here, so stay with me. There’s nothing wrong with trying on a lot of clothing while you’re in hot pursuit of the perfect outfit, but until you’ve seen all that’s out there, don’t make any commitments to buy. Meaning: Ashley should be taking it slow with all of these guys until she knows what they’re all about.
Many women rush into a sexual relationship thinking it’s going to move your love along faster, but that isn’t the case. It’s just going to make you fall a lot harder. If a guy knows you’re having a sexual relationship with other guys, he’s not going to think very highly of you. In fact, you may just get used.
Dating is all about finding someone you’re compatible with, and sex can mess with the equation. Women tend to get their hearts involved when they’ve been intimate with a guy and find it a lot harder to assess whether they actually like him or just like him because of the intimacy.
So do not do as Ashley did. Although she and Ben didn’t sleep in the same room, she’s sending a message to other guys that she’s a bit easy and too available — especially given that she’s made out with two on the group date. I wonder how J.P. can witness her cat in heat behavior and still like her!
In summary, take things slow. Why hurry love – or loving?