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Emily’s completely heartbroken over losing Brad: ‘I will always be in love with Brad — This is my worst nightmare!’

Emily Maynard sits down with Bachelorette/Bachelor host Chris Harrison to discuss her sad breakup with Bachelor Brad Womack. Returning to The Bachelor mansion brings on a flood of tears and emotions for Emily as she begins her story and explains why her relationship with Brad came to an end.

“It’s sad being here,” Emily tells Chris. “I thought we’d be planning a wedding the next time I saw you. Just being by myself and not having Brad here and remembering how excited I’d get for dates and the rose ceremonies and all that [makes me sad].”

Unfortunately, there won’t be a wedding. “We’re not engaged anymore,” says Emily. “But he’s always going to be a huge part of my life. And for so long we left the ‘…’ — I feel bad that it’s taken this long to let everybody know. I’m just finally ready to say it.”

“I’ll always be in love with Brad,” Emily admits. “No one will every hear me say a bad word about him. Not a day will go by that I’ll regret how things turned out.”

But Emily finally figured out that they weren’t meant to be. “The day Brad proposed to me was one of the happiest days I can remember,” she explains. “I was going to get Ricki and I an apartment in Austin, [but] little red flags would come up. I came to a point where I had to be honest with myself. I realized that my want for it to work out maybe overshadowed the actual reality.”

Brad wasn’t ready to be a father and Emily couldn’t drag her daughter across the country without having a guarantee for the long haul. “I think we’re both used to being single and that’s a hard adjustment,” says Emily. “As a single mom, I didn’t have that reassurance.”

“Maybe we didn’t have what it takes to last forever,” Emily cries. “This was my worst nightmare. I always believed and thought if you loved each other, it would work. I swore that we would be the one that would. I wanted it so bad. It’s just really disappointing. It feels like failure.”

Emily thinks that it may have turned out differently had their relationship not been in the spotlight. But now that it’s over, at least Brad and Emily stay in touch through phone calls and text messages.

Now, Emily’s just done sharing her story with everyone. ”I wish I didn’t have to sit here,” she says. “I just thought it would go away and people would move on to the next couple, but everyone deserves to know what happened. I want it to end with this.”

“It makes me sad to know that we love each other enough to make it work, but [can't],” she confesses. “It’s really sad.”

- Lindsey DiMattina