Bonnie Says: Shut Up Gwyneth Paltrow! You're Complaining That You're Stressed When You Made $33 Million Last Year!

Thu, June 30, 2011 6:24pm EDT by 23 Comments

Gwyneth Paltrow, you HAVE to stop complaining. You have no idea of how privileged you are. You just wrote in your new GOOP newsletter on June 30th that you’re not good at handling stress and you devoted the column to all the ways that you need to try to cope with the stress in your life.

STRESS– what kind of real stress do you have in your blessed life? You’re super rich, you’re beautiful, you have the kind of glamorous life that 99.9999% of the world can only fantasize about. You have a talented, rich, famous husband and two beautiful HEALTHY children.

What’s more — you have OPPORTUNITY. Opportunity to choose which TV shows, movies, and singing engagements to take and be highly paid for. You are in an incredibly unique position, especially today — you CAN make your own dreams happen. You can have the American dream. Most Americans can’t.

Gwyneth, consider this: 9.1 % of Americans are out of work, 13.9 million are unemployed and in 2010 2.9 million received foreclosure notices on their houses — a record. Millions and millions more people are underemployed, earning less than they used to and are barely holding on to the homes they worked hard for. Millions of people go without health insurance everyday because they can’t afford it and therefore don’t get the healthcare they need for themselves and their families.

Now talk about stress — THOSE people are STRESSED!  They have a right to be stressed!

And they certainly would be happy to trade places with you Gwyneth. In fact, I bet they would gladly walk in your high heeled Louboutins and guest star in 3 episodes of Glee, star in  in the films Ironman and Country Strong, appear on the cover of Bon Appetit, sing at the Oscars and the Grammy’s with Cee-Lo Green, cook on their own reality show, On the Road Again, with world renowned celebrity chef Mario Batali and deal with having pictures taken by the paparazzi.

In other words, they’d be happy to take on your stresses if you’d take on theirs — get them jobs and pay their mortgages.

Now Gwyneth, you’ve had this “stress” issue from time to time. Apparently, you once went on a silent retreat to help cope with your tough life. “Some days I feel like everyone in my world has plugged themselves into my kidneys,” you sighed to Harper’s Bazaar magazine in the May, 2010 issue.

You also kvetched to Harper’s Bazaar that you hate having your photo taken by paparazzi: ” You just followed me… and you’re going to make money off it? You want me to look at you and smile? Are you out of your mind?”

Well Gwyneth, no matter how tired you think you are you definitely have a nanny or nannies for your two children, you have people to clean your house and do your laundry, you have a cook, you fly first class or private — you can not be as tired as even the average working mom, who struggles without ALL that help! How about NO HELP!

And those working moms don’t have two hours a day to work out with celebrity trainer Tracy Anderson, like you do. Most of them work five days a week, something which you won’t do, you told V Magazine in the summer 2008 issue.

Gwyneth, there are downsides to every job. Some jobs come with subsistence pay checks or verbally abusive bosses or no opportunity to be creative or to be promoted. Your career, which has made you a multi-millionairess, depends on people caring to see you on TV and in films. And if people care, they want to see your photo — that’s a good thing! Surely, you can cope with the stress of an occasional paparazzi encounter. If no one wanted your picture, you might HAVE to worry.

In any case Gwyneth, it’s time to stop sharing you major stress burden with us. I’d suggest you take my advice if you don’t want to be labeled World’s Most Annoying Celebrity. Save your stress complaints for Rihanna and Jay Z who will certainly lend more sympathetic ears than your GOOP readers.

I hear you’ll be escaping your stressful life by holidaying with them in the south of France this summer — YOU POOR THING!

— Bonnie Fuller


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