The Love Consultants: Why Arnold & Maria Should Try To Save Their Marriage! Do You Agree?

Wed, May 25, 2011 8:39am EST by 6 Comments

HollywoodLife asked professional matchmaker and dating coach Matt Titus and his wife , author and media personality Tamsen Fadal if Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver could possibly survive his infidelity.

Do they think the couple should call it quits for good? Or should they give their 25 year marriage another shot?

Matt’s Take:

Another day, another high profile marriage explodes in scandal. Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver announced their separation after 34 years together, they spent 25 of those years as husband and wife. In that time their relationship also gave birth to four beautiful children ages 21 to 13. Everything fell apart when it was revealed that Arnold had ANOTHER child during that time, with their HOUSEKEEPER!

We all know the sad details, betrayal, lies, secrets exposed…but is anybody really shocked? Most of all, was Maria truly stunned? I say this because there is one big rule when it comes to powerful men. Powerful men screw around, powerful men cheat, powerful men always put their hands in the cookie jar.

The true, primal nature of the male is to procreate, as often as possible. Now that isn’t what people want to hear, but it’s the truth. It’s also not the best thing a man can do when he’s in a committed marriage or relationship. But it’s a 100% biological truth. I have said it many times before, we are predisposed to cheat. The act of monogamy is a pretty new idea for our species when all things are considered. You couple that with unlimited power, fortune and success and you have the recipe for front-page heartbreak. For powerful men with cheating as their desired goal, the risk of doing itself is part of the reward because breaking rules is a thrill for them.

That brings us back to Arnold and Maria, the question I am getting is, ‘Can They Survive This?’

My answer is…YES. The truth is that most long-term relationships are incredibly complicated and layered things that don’t always look like our ideas of the perfect relationships. Infidelity often occurs when there is something deeply wrong with a relationship that neither person will reveal with the other, the betrayal of infidelity is a symptom of a problem, not a cause. Believe it or not, when an affair comes out into the open and the secrets are exposed, a couple may actually become way more honest with each other and then suddenly that seemingly damaged relationship can actually become stronger as a result.

I am hoping that Arnold and Maria somehow find a way to make it work towards staying together or find a positive way to ensure that their current differences do not affect their children, who are blameless in all this. They may still have shared goals, shared affections and the shared hope to make it through this difficult period, I’m sending them strength and understanding.

Tamsen’s Take:

Wow, do I disagree with my husband on this one. If Maria has any understanding of honesty and fidelity then she has to end this NOW. Arnold’s despicable actions are the reason we’re discussing this, he choose to break his vow and not only cheat, but father a child with another woman who was in his employ, outrageous.

So we are “predisposed to cheat”. Is this an excuse for Arnold’s behavior? No. It is just a clinical fact. In healthy relationships people do not cheat, I don’t care if you’re King of the Universe or a man on the street type guy, infidelity is not a “given” if you are a male. We all have a choice. Unlike most animals on the plant we are not powerless to our baser or primal desires.

Many times cheating or infidelity is caused by communication breakdown, but it’s also an act of total selfishness that destroys the balance, very often forever. If someone cheated once, wouldn’t they do so again?

Maria is going through a period of great rage towards Arnold, a rage that this relationship expert believes will not allow her to move on with him, even if that means breaking up the family unit. The children deserve an environment of honesty and caring. I truly hope that everyone involved can reach that goal.

Check Out Matchmaker and Dating Coach Matt Titus’ Website!

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Maggy

Posted at 10:53 PM on July 22, 2011  

How come noone blames the “other woman” in this? She was married at the time of the “event”, as Arnold called it. Maria and her children did not deserve this. Mildred is more to blame than Arnold!!!! Disgusting woman.

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vivi

Posted at 12:36 PM on May 30, 2011  

am a woman and though i have not gone thru such i wud advise that they save their marriage, dey have gone for 25 good years and for wot its worth there is nothing better than a family that is united,if for the 14years her hubby had this child she didnt know and she had not filed for divorce for any reason now that she knows though it wud take a while eventually it wud be in the past and everytin wud fall into place. For those 14yrs his role as a husband was not questioned and if it was she wud have divorced him den, i think all dis is just publicity stunt,Yes she is related to a former president and i think for that reason some issues shud be handled with care and privacy not all ths noise she is making.

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Annie

Posted at 4:40 PM on May 27, 2011  

Save their marriage, are you kidding?? this is a question a man would ask because they don’t understand this kind of betrayal to a woman. She gave him children, followed HIS career, gave him a home, wifey things she thought to do out of love instead under her own roof is a cheat loving another woman and their child. Please Maria, run from this guy, as long and as far as you can get and hopefully there is a real man out there who will appreciate you.

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Ken

Posted at 2:05 PM on May 25, 2011  

Women cheat too, in the same proportions. And it has also biological roots, because after the first few years of romantic thrill, the female desire of remating is STRONG. A justification for men cheating is only comforting misandrists and other women who may want to get a revenge on perfectly decent men.

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blondie

Posted at 11:03 AM on May 25, 2011  

Wow, “programmed to cheat?” I’d keep an eye on him if I were you, Tamsen…sounds like your husband is just looking for a reason to fool around.

The bottom line is, temptation is all around us, if one is looking for that. You can blame anything you want: evolution, money, power, but it all comes down to individual choice. There is evidence that Ah-nold is a habitual cheater….while he was governor I would bet there was some hush money being paid, but you can’t run from your history and this was an issue before they got married.

If I were Maria, I would be furious for practical reasons as well. By not wearing a condom, he exposed her to Gawd-knows-what. In this day and age, it becomes a matter of life and death, not just a “good time.” There isn’t enough love, money or prestige to stay with someone who is putting your life in danger.

There are people in this world who can date and bed whomever they choose: SINGLE PEOPLE. Don’t get married if you want to be with multiple women or men!

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Peggy Hart

Posted at 10:16 AM on May 25, 2011  

LEARN to SPELL!!! Quite sure you have spellcheck, WTF???

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