HollywoodLife asked professional matchmaker and dating coach Matt Titus and his wife , author and media personality Tamsen Fadal if Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver could possibly survive his infidelity.
Do they think the couple should call it quits for good? Or should they give their 25 year marriage another shot?
Another day, another high profile marriage explodes in scandal. Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver announced their separation after 34 years together, they spent 25 of those years as husband and wife. In that time their relationship also gave birth to four beautiful children ages 21 to 13. Everything fell apart when it was revealed that Arnold had ANOTHER child during that time, with their HOUSEKEEPER!
We all know the sad details, betrayal, lies, secrets exposed…but is anybody really shocked? Most of all, was Maria truly stunned? I say this because there is one big rule when it comes to powerful men. Powerful men screw around, powerful men cheat, powerful men always put their hands in the cookie jar.
The true, primal nature of the male is to procreate, as often as possible. Now that isn’t what people want to hear, but it’s the truth. It’s also not the best thing a man can do when he’s in a committed marriage or relationship. But it’s a 100% biological truth. I have said it many times before, we are predisposed to cheat. The act of monogamy is a pretty new idea for our species when all things are considered. You couple that with unlimited power, fortune and success and you have the recipe for front-page heartbreak. For powerful men with cheating as their desired goal, the risk of doing itself is part of the reward because breaking rules is a thrill for them.
That brings us back to Arnold and Maria, the question I am getting is, ‘Can They Survive This?’
My answer is…YES. The truth is that most long-term relationships are incredibly complicated and layered things that don’t always look like our ideas of the perfect relationships. Infidelity often occurs when there is something deeply wrong with a relationship that neither person will reveal with the other, the betrayal of infidelity is a symptom of a problem, not a cause. Believe it or not, when an affair comes out into the open and the secrets are exposed, a couple may actually become way more honest with each other and then suddenly that seemingly damaged relationship can actually become stronger as a result.
I am hoping that Arnold and Maria somehow find a way to make it work towards staying together or find a positive way to ensure that their current differences do not affect their children, who are blameless in all this. They may still have shared goals, shared affections and the shared hope to make it through this difficult period, I’m sending them strength and understanding.
Wow, do I disagree with my husband on this one. If Maria has any understanding of honesty and fidelity then she has to end this NOW. Arnold’s despicable actions are the reason we’re discussing this, he choose to break his vow and not only cheat, but father a child with another woman who was in his employ, outrageous.
So we are “predisposed to cheat”. Is this an excuse for Arnold’s behavior? No. It is just a clinical fact. In healthy relationships people do not cheat, I don’t care if you’re King of the Universe or a man on the street type guy, infidelity is not a “given” if you are a male. We all have a choice. Unlike most animals on the plant we are not powerless to our baser or primal desires.
Many times cheating or infidelity is caused by communication breakdown, but it’s also an act of total selfishness that destroys the balance, very often forever. If someone cheated once, wouldn’t they do so again?
Maria is going through a period of great rage towards Arnold, a rage that this relationship expert believes will not allow her to move on with him, even if that means breaking up the family unit. The children deserve an environment of honesty and caring. I truly hope that everyone involved can reach that goal.