Will dating a lot of men prepare you for the right one or are you wasting your time actively looking for love?
Ashley Hebert is the gal searching for her Mr. Right this season on The Bachelorette, and although she’s bravely putting herself out there on the ‘meet market’, will dating 25 different guys truly prepare her to find ‘the one’?
After getting dumped by Brad Womack in favor of Emily Maynard last season on The Bachelor, the 26-year-old University of Pennsylvania dental student has embarked on her own quest to find love. Will she be successful? Only time will tell.
I respect Ashley’s hopefulness that one of the guys will work out, but she needs to know what she really wants and she needs to play smart. The fact that a pal warned her that Bentley Williams was only on the show to further his career and she was seduced by his good looks and charm anyway indicates that she may not be ready to settle down; she’s easily seduced by the outer package.
Obviously, by going on a show like The Bachelorette, Ashley intends to find love. But she may be trying too hard and creating a scenario that just isn’t there. She wrote on her People magazine blog: “I know it may sound crazy to hear me say that I think my husband was in the room on the first night, but I felt confident in what my gut was telling me.”
My guess is that most of you won’t be going on a reality show to find your Mr. Perfect, but there’s nothing wrong with aggressively dating around in the the real world, either. How are you going to know if a guy is right for you if you don’t give him a chance? Just remember some key rules.
#1 Your time is precious. Don’t devote more than two dates, three max, to a guy that you suspect isn’t going to work out after the first date.
#2 Curb your friskiness. If you’re dating a bunch of guys, it’s not right on you to act out your sexual fantasies with all of them. If anything, keep your late-night goodbyes to a few kisses.
#3 Dating should not be a full-time job. Don’t interview these guys. Remember, you’re looking for a mate. Although he may be a candidate for the position of your boyfriend, he doesn’t have to know that!