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What Should You Do If Your Ex Is Constantly Trashing You Like Jesse James Is Doing To Sandra Bullock?

Mon, May 16, 2011 12:11pm EDT by 5 Comments
Getty Images (2)
Getty Images (2)

Getty Images (2)

Can you make him stop or must you suffer?

Sandra Bullock must be chalking up her decision to marry ex-husband Jesse James as the absolute worst of her life. Not only did he cheat on her with a plethora of would-be man thieves, but he’s now engaged to yet another woman. But the indignity doesn’t stop there: now Jesse is trashing Sandy’s sexual performance and calling her 2010 Golden Globe acceptance speech phony. What should she do to stop the abuse?

After rating fiancee Kat Von D as a better lover, Jesse is now at it again. On a pre-taped segment of Piers Morgan Tonight that aired May 13, the  Monster Garage star sounds off on the woman he betrayed yet again. “She said that speech at four different awards shows,” he said, adding that she because she acts for a living, it’s easy for her to ‘fake’ it.

“I don’t know how I survived in there as long as I did,” the American Outlaw author added of Hollywood; he’s since moved to Austin, Texas. “It’s just pretend, its not real. I’m like the guy that goes to the shop. And I don’t hang out in the shop, I go to the back and hang out with the guys that are all greasy dirty and that’s where I belong.”

I’ve got a thought or two about where he belongs, but that’s neither here nor there. What we’re here to talk about is what you should do should an ex constantly trash talk.

Sandy’s situation is different. She suffers in silence all the way to the bank. She has lawyers working on her case pretty much round-the-clock. My guess is that they’ve determined that every time Jesse trashes her and she says nothing, it’s a point in her favor. And really, her career and how beloved she is in Hollywood might be payback enough. Jesse James was cast out of Tinseltown, he knows it and he’s bitter.

You might want to try talking to him like a rational, calm adult, but don’t be surprised if he doesn’t listen. If you do go this route, make sure not to employ any female wiles: he’s angry, feels you’ve wronged him in some way and is being completely irrational.

My suggestion: do like Sandy does. Her calm, unflappable silence may be irritating him more in the moment, but in the long wrong it’s better to be classy and pretend like your ex doesn’t even exist. His nasty words are nothing more than mosquito bites: annoying, but they eventually, they’ll go away. You’ll just have to ride this one out and take pride in the affect that you are the bigger person.


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