Another one bites the dust! Actually, make that two. What did you think of the death-filled ‘Desperate Housewives’ finale?
After a season of ups and downs — both in drama and, unfortunately, quality — the May 15 finale of Desperate Housewives grabbed me by the specials, and reminded me why I’ve been addicted to these wacky women for the past seven years. While Bree (Marcia Cross) and Susan (Teri Hatcher) found their happy endings, Lynette’s (Felicity Huffman) marriage fell to pieces Gaby’s (Eva Longoria) abusive past literally came back to haunt her.
Susan’s sappy ending:
The first part of the finale was mostly bursting with Susan, as we watched her get thrown in jail, accused of poisoning Paul (Mark Moses), and released free-and-clear all in the span of an hour. Add to that a heart-pounding confrontation with Felicia Tillman (Harriet Harris), who kidnapped Paul and tried to kill him, made Susan look like 1/3 of freakin’ Charlie’s Angels. It’s hard to believe this woman recently underwent a kidney transplant!
Paul surprised everyone by turning himself into the police, admitting to the murder of Martha Huber, and was carted away with dignity. Felicia, however, ended the hour with significantly less dignity. While making her getaway, she spilled Beth’s ashes, which clouded her vision, causing her to drive straight into an on-coming tractor-trailer. See ya, Felicia!
Lynette’s marriage crisis:
I’ve been an advocate of Lynette and Tom getting a divorce for years — but now that their marriage is finally ending, I’m not happy at all. Their little trip to the cabin merely gave them more time to fight, and Tom told her it might be best for him to move into one of his company’s apartment buildings for a while. But when he finally returned home, Lynette told him she felt “relief” when he walked out on her, officially hammering the final nail into the coffin of their marriage.
Oh, my Scavos … where did you go wrong?
On the bright side, Lynette’s sadness finally gave Vanessa Williams some material worth her talent. René’s little comforting moment with Lynette in the kitchen was easily Vanessa’s best scene all season. (Dear King Marc Cherry, give her more to do next year!)
Gaby’s ‘daddy issues':
Fact: Gaby hasn’t been this interesting since she slapped that nun back in season two. But the season finale marked the return of her not-so-dead stepfather, and the emergence of a Gaby’s dark side. And I like it! After noticing that he’d been stalking her, Gaby lured him into the woods and confronted him with a gun. She forced an admission and apology for raping her when she was just 15… and she thought she put him in his place.
(Was anyone else thinking, “Don’t shoot, Gaby! You can’t leave Betty Suarez without a father?”)
Unfortunately he returned, this time in her house while she was all alone. Thankfully, Carlos (Ricardo Chavira) returned home just in time to prevent him from raping her again, but Carlos may have hit him a little too hard over the head. Regardless of whether or not the murder was intentional, Carlos and the ladies — who happened to walk in on the corpse — were forced to wrap up the body and stuff it in the Solis’ living room chest.
Next season’s big ‘mystery':
Unfortunately, it doesn’t look like there will be one — at least not based on anything that happened in the finale. There will, however, be inevitable drama surrounding the murder of Gaby’s stepfather and the guilt of all parties involved.
Mary-Alice’s ominous narrative statement that “the thing that binds friends together the most is a secret that changes everything” certainly seems to promise an intense story for next season, but let’s not get too ahead of ourselves here.
Think about it: Gaby’s stepfather was an elderly man from far away who didn’t tell anyone where he was going. How many people are really going to think to look for him in a box in his estranged stepdaughter’s living room? Honestly, now.