Should You Ever Fight With Your Man's Best Friend, Like Khloe Kardashian?

Tue, April 19, 2011 6:00am EDT by 5 Comments

Is Khloe overstepping her bounds again? The Love Consultants — professional matchmaker and dating coach Matt Titus and his wife, author and media personality Tamsen Fadal — take on this hot relationship question exclusively for!

Khloe Kardashian got into a heated argument with husband Lamar Odom‘s best friend Jamie on the April 17 episode of Khloe and Lamar  — and it totally put Lamar in the middle! asks The Love ConsultantsMatt Titus and Tamsen Fadal, whether it’s a bad idea to pick a fight with your man’s longtime buddy.

Matt’s Take:

Uh oh! Khloe and Lamar are fighting — again. And it’s not about something he did or she did — it’s over Lamar’s free-loading best friend Jamie!

Jamie “works” for Lamar’s clothing company, Rich Soil. But the company is floundering while Jamie sleeps all day, parties all night and hangs out at the couple’s loft. Khloe couldn’t take it anymore and swung into action. She changed the locks on the door to the loft, and then confronted Jamie. That led to a huge fight, putting Lamar in the middle of what is one of the worst relationship conflicts you can have — coming between a guy and his best buddy!

Khloe’s having trouble understanding the intricate dynamic between Lamar and his friends and family. She and Lamar have known each other for a VERY short time and Lamar and Jamie have a 20-year history. Good or bad, the “bro-code” is long and strong with these two guys.

The key for Khloe is going to be how she balances being a part of her husband’s life without demanding complete control of it. Even if that means dealing with his free-loading friends and family.

Here is the hard fact: You can run but you cannot hide from your boyfriend’s or husband’s best friend. You’ll make yourself the enemy in the process, so don’t even try. Instead, you need to create boundaries, choose your battles and be firm (but NOT bossy).

You have to let your significant other make the decision to change the dynamic. You can’t be the judge and jury…no matter how dysfunctional it may all seem.

I’d also again caution Khloe to not meddle in everything her husband does! Give the man some space and stop smothering him.

Tamsen’s Take:

Is the honeymoon over for Khloe and Lamar? I don’t think so, but the relationship took a hit because of Jamie.

This is a common problem we get here at The Love Consultant offices — “I love my husband but can’t stand his friends and family!”

Confrontation, the kind that Khloe initiated, is not a solution. That only leads to more conflict and uneasy relations. She clearly loves Lamar and is protective. She just needs to tell Lamar about her feelings and offer advice — instead of taking matters into her own hands. Especially when they are matters between him and friends.

Jamie had a near-death experience about four years ago and it definitely affected him. Khloe feels that he’s using that as a crutch and that Lamar is being used as a doormat. My hope is for Lamar to take control and make the moves to fix both his company and his friendship. Just because Lamar has found success as NBA star doesn’t mean he has to have a personal team that drains his goodwill — and his bank account.

All friendships can have conflicts. And there are times when some individuals are just not compatible anymore and you have to decide whether you need to break free and clean house. But these choices must be made by the person directly involved, not their husband or wife.

Khloe’s protective instincts must be coupled with maturity and intelligence — not raw emotion.

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