The Love Consultants — professional matchmaker and dating coach Matt Titus and his wife, author and media personality Tamsen Fadal –tell you whether it’s smart to mix business with pleasure by working with someone you may be just getting to know.
You could be downloading a Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber duet single sooner than you think! But HollywoodlLife.com asked The Love Consultants, Matt Titus and Tamsen Fadal, whether the young love birds may be jumping too fast into working together. Could they be putting too much strain on their relationship?
Selena and Justin are dating — after weeks of playing coy, the couple finally admitted their romance is for real. Of course from the standpoint of a relationship expert, I can’t put much credence into the notion that teenage dating has any weight or depth, especially between two megastars. It seems like Justin still has trouble keeping his pants off the ground. How is he able to navigate a meaningful relationship?
Which leads me to the current news of Justin, 17, and Selena, 18, potentially mixing business with pleasure. She hedged a bit when first asked about any future collaborations at the 2011 Kids’ Choice Awards. But when she was asked point-blank if she’d ever record a duet with Justin, her answer was a great big “YES!”
So should these two be making sweet music together? Is it smart to work with your romantic partner? Not if you’re a teenager in the early stages of immature love. Finding a boyfriend or girlfriend to spend time with at any age isn’t easy. The last thing you want to do is start blending your personal lives together, especially when you have an audience of millions of people watching your every move. For most folks, the notion of working with a significant other or spouse sounds — at best — stupid. At worst, it’s a direct path to emotional and relationship collapse!
Trust me, I know this firsthand. I work with my wife, Tamsen, in our shared businesses, and it is not easy. It requires a constant level of communication and consideration built after years of respect and discovery about what it takes to make it work. How in the world can a 17-year-old boy and an 18-year-old girl balance the demands and pressures of sharing their life and work? They need to be careful about any situation that could spin out of their control. Justin is a creation of the current state of the music industry and Selena is a highly polished product of kid-friendly commercialism, which means any duet could become nothing more than a cool and calculated move of brand strategy.
These two teen idols have to pull it back, concentrate on being young and free. Any serious type of relationship can narrow a young adult’s interests, emotional growth and involvement with others. This would just make things tougher.
Here’s my advice for Justin and Selena — keep your budding romance duet-free!
Oh young love, it’s always so wild and passionate. I think Justin and Selena are sweet together. They’re cute, talented and totally at the top of their games. Why wouldn’t they want to collaborate on a song?
For two people as famous as Selena and Justin, it is nearly impossible to completely separate their work and personal lives. But the level of fame that fuels them also bonds them. Their lives are not normal. They have managers, agents, entire teams of people guiding the way. If they did work together and record a song, it’s not like they would just stumble into the studio together. They’d have a huge level of support in making it happen.
Teen romance is not a new phenomenon. Remember that old standard by Donny Osmond, “Puppy Love”? But nowadays it does seem that young people are more actively engaged in the dating and relationship world. Being “single” at the ripe old age of 13 can be seen as weird by today’s kids — especially those who compete with their peers to live life in the fast lane and aspire to be, act and look just like young celebrities.
I just hope the adults in all these children’s lives are giving them solid guidance and directives. For Selena and Justin, I’d focus them on enjoying the precious time they get to spend together with as little pressure as possible. They really need to think about the ups and downs of working together. As I tell all my clients who are thinking of joining forces on a business or partnership: You must have understanding, passion, commitment, flexibility — and lots of patience! If Justin and Selena can embrace all of the elements they needed to develop, then I say go for it, you two!
Go ahead, knock out a hit song — I’m sure that all your many fans will agree!