Bethenny Frankel: I Don't Want My Mom In My Life, But Mom Says Bethenny Lies! Exclusive!

Fri, March 25, 2011 11:32am EDT by 42 Comments

DOUBLE EXCLUSIVE! Bethenny’s mom responds: ‘I consider her to be demented and beyond help — reconciliation is not up to her at all!’

The mother-daughter feud continues! Ten years ago, Bethenny Ever After star Bethenny Frankel had a major falling out with her mother Bernadette Parisella Birk. To this day, Bethenny has no intention of fixing their relationship. “It depends upon what I want, and I don’t know that I want that,” Bethenny tells HollywoodLife.com exclusively. “My life is kind of the way I want it right now.”

In her new book, A Place of Yes: 10 Rules for Getting Everything You Want Out of Life, Bethenny’s addresses the issues that emerged from her childhood.

“I didn’t feel like a victim as a child, and I don’t feel like one now,” Bethenny, 40, writes. But “I never felt very safe, and I never felt like I could trust that someone else was in control of the situation.”

“I shouldn’t have been in Vegas at 13,” Bethenny explains to HollywoodLife.com. “I shouldn’t have been in nightclubs at 13.”

We also spoke with Bethenny’s mom — who said that Bethenny just isn’t telling the truth about her past.

“She was NOT in any nightclubs at 13, unless she was crawling out her bedroom window at night,” Bernadette tells us. “But yes, we took her to Vegas with us because we were not going to leave her with a babysitter.”

“We took her all over the world, she wasn’t out of my sight ever,” Bernadette adds.

Bethenny’s take? “My childhood was not terrible,” she admits during our interview. “I had a lot of happiness — or at least a lot of fun times. I did a lot of interesting things’ — but not necessarily at an age that would have been appropriate, she feels.

Bethenny still writes in her book, “I never wanted to hurt her — I wish when this book comes out, she wouldn’t have to see it or know about it.”

But her mom did find out. “If she didn’t want me to read the parts about me in the book then why would she publish it?” Bernadette wonders.

“My comment is the same as it was — I consider her to be demented and beyond help,” Bernadette says. “Reconciliation is not up to her at all. She would never want to repair anything because then all of her lies would come out.”

- Lindsey DiMattina and Jessica Finn

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CAROLYN WATSON

Posted at 12:36 AM on April 10, 2012  

BETHANY,
I FIND YOU TO BE SO GENUINE. I DON’T GET A CHANCE TO WATCH YOUR SHOW ALL THE TIME, BUT ENOUGH TO KNOW A LITTLE ABOUT YOUR LIFE. I SEE YOU AS INTELLIGENT AND AMBITIOUS, LOVING AND DRIVEN TO TRY TO MAKE SURE EVERYONE IS HAPPY. I WISH THAT YOU WERE ABLE TO RELAX ENOUGH TO LOVE YOURSELF MORE AND MAKE SURE THAT YOU ARE HAPPY. YOU DON’T ALWAYS PUT YOURSELF FIRST. THAT DOESN’T MEAN THAT YOU SHOULD BE SELFISH (I DON’T THINK YOU COULD BE SELFISH EVEN IF YOU TRIED). DON’T LET YOUR MOM OR ANYONE ELSE THROW YOU OFF YOUR SQUARE. YOU HAVE DONE NOTHING TO CAUSE PEOPLE TO ACT THE WAY THEY DO–THEIR ACTIONS ARE THEIR ISSUES. WHAT THEY THINK AABOUT YOU IS THEIR ISSUE. THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN THE WORLD IS WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT YOURSELF. YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO LOOK IN THE MIRROR ANYTIME AND SAY “HEY GIRL, I LOVE YOU!”
I WISH YOU EVERY SUCCESS AND HAPPINESS. YOU DESERVE IT.

CAROLYN

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npd

Posted at 11:10 PM on June 14, 2011  

I think it is up to Bethenny to decide whether or not she wants her mother in her life. Only those who have grown up with a parent with a personality disorder or who are abusive in some way can appreciate what it is truly like. Having a child does not make you a parent. Sometimes, after you have tried and tried to have a constructive relationship with a disordered person, you just have to let it go, move on and protect yourself by keeping them out of your life. Critics should walk a mile in her shoes before commenting – wouldn’t it be much better to have a loving r/ship with your mother if you had a choice?

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cactus rose

Posted at 10:58 AM on May 18, 2011  

Interesting how many people have opinions on nothing they know anything about. Did they grow up in that household? The only thing they know is from watching the show and reading the blogs and gossip mags. The one thing we should all know is that this girl has gone out with a dream and turned it into millions of dollars and from that we should applaud the fact that she has inspired many to go out and make their dreams realities.

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cat/mouse

Posted at 7:04 PM on May 8, 2011  

bethenny is a lie’s about a lot of people , she love’s the spot lite she would sell her mother and any thing to get MONEY and FAME SHAME SHAME SHAME ON YOU BETHENNY .

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Jennie

Posted at 11:17 PM on April 20, 2011  

I’m a mother of 2 daughters who continually make me the bad mother with out realizing i did everything to make them safe and because of that i suffer every day i have to ask for times & permission to visit all is wrong on my part i hurt always god is the one who forgives me children in the 20th century want to be raised like a queen not like me without shoes or underwear socks i shared with siblings 7 of them my mom had 3 men we are off spring of them but as God is my witness I never said one bad thing against her life as bad as it was for us……..shame on Bethenny did God tell u that life was perfect he 4 got in ur eyes 2 tell own it live ur life don’t cry and give it to your husband and child ………he will leave u if u keep it up and so will Television 2 many haters out there that lived harder lifes than u GIRLFRIEND SHUT UP AND LISTEN U TALK TO FAST & TOO MUCH U NEED TO LISTEN…LISTEN..

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sane

Posted at 1:14 PM on April 21, 2011  

Yes. being able to relate to your family with all it’s imperfection is something that too many people do not want to deal with. Let say Bethenny mother was thowing tuntrums.
Does it mean Bethenny should have odasity to throw her mother to the wolfes? That is what Betheny does. Bethenny, go to the shrink and learn how to deal with your pain.
Humiliating yoru mother makes you a bad person. You dont think twise before speaking mean to jason parents either.
You missing a big chip from your brain about discency and
sensetivity to other people feelings. No, it is not right to excuse yourself by saying. I am me and say as it is.
No, wrong. Say it if you can avoid the unjustified hurt.
keeping Jason parent away from Bryn is an unjustifiable and
detremental to Bryn. Resolution: you are selfsentered and
treat your child as a toy. If you would be putting her interest first, you would be letting Jason parents spend as much time with her as possible. This is like black and white.

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djwyatt

Posted at 2:53 PM on May 9, 2011  

I totally disagree with you. A person can appear normal to the outside world, but the truth behind closed doors can be a very different reality. Would the Hoppy Grandparents agree that she is keeping them from Bryn or is this an opinion you developed on your own? I think Bethenny is a smart, successful and ambitious women who has made the most of her life. The fact that she discusses it on TV is for our entertainment. Would anyone watch the show if there were no drama?

 
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Brandi

Posted at 4:13 AM on March 28, 2012  

Have you seen the period button on your computer? You should use it!

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Dani

Posted at 7:57 PM on April 14, 2011  

My mother and I had a bad relationship for as long as I can remember. She and my father had terrible parenting skills with name calling, belittling, fights, hate, all of it and I grew up a product of my environment and continued down that same learned path. My mother died suddenly when I was 50 and she was 83. Our last conversation was me bashing her for whatever anger I had at that particular moment. As soon as I heard the news that she died I prayed to God to grant me just 5 minutes so I could make things right, tell her I was sorry and tell her I love you. Of course it did not happen. I live with this everyday. I wish I had been a bigger person, forgiving, patient, because now I have the right tools and I say these things to a granite headstone at the cemetary. This was 13 years ago. It is hard to live with. My advice would be to try to make it work,tommorow may be too late.

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Krissy

Posted at 12:16 AM on April 12, 2011  

Anyone tried the skinny girl margarita? omg it sucks so bad! Those northerners have no idea what a good one taste like! Bethenny took a good drink and ruined it! I’m sure those sells will drop when people actually taste it!

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Brandi

Posted at 4:17 AM on March 28, 2012  

Yeah, you’re probably right……that’s why a huge company purchased it! Cause it sucks…..makes sense!

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Avalis

Posted at 11:38 PM on April 8, 2011  

I find it interesting that Bethenny Frankel’s mother calls her “demented” and accuses her of lying about her childhood. Coming from an abusive background myself in which my sociopathic father did everything in his power to destroy me, I recognized immediately the tactics employed by Bethenny’s mother. Calling Bethenny demented and implying that she is crazy is a common tactic used by abusive parents who won’t own up to their abuse. My father, who isn’t very smart, by the way, said the same thing about me and once sent me a newspaper article about false memories, implying that this was the case with me. The fact that there are police records of his abusing both myself and my then step-mother, not to mention any number of relatives and friends who witnessed the abuse, seems to have escaped him. Same thing seems to be happening with Bethenny’s mother, who does admit, at least, that the police was called to their home several times. My best advice to Bethenny is to steer clear of her mother as she has been doing. She’s lucky enough to have met a wonderful husband in Jason and his caring parents can substitute for her biological parents. Trust me, these people never change. The only thing you can do with them is leave them.

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Lau

Posted at 3:03 AM on August 4, 2011  

So true. You know what happened even without articles. You are strong continue!!!!!xoxo

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jen

Posted at 1:50 AM on December 17, 2011  

I think that we all have a f’d up life. No one is perfect but her like is in the spotlight. If this was your friend saying these things about her mother you would be there for her. People are just bashing her bc she is making it known in a spotlight. You guys same she is looking for fame but she is making her life better!!

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Kat

Posted at 10:14 AM on April 8, 2011  

Team Bethenney. Her mother sounds like a loon, calling her own daughter “demented”.

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Joan

Posted at 7:28 AM on April 5, 2011  

Funny thing, Bonnie, but John Parisella has confirmed a lot of what Bethenny has said. Including your alcoholism. Including your obsession with what you and Bethenny ate. Including the calls to police for instances of domestic violence.

Who has secrets to hide?

And you’ve had three years now to tell (sell?) your version of the story … and yet you can’t seem to find any takers. Wonder why that is? Could it be that you have no credibility?

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justlikemysister

Posted at 6:06 PM on April 4, 2011  

Bethenny sounds paranoid in this article. Never feeling safe or like anyone was in control. My sister complains just the same way. She is delusional about our mother and our upbringing. Our mother was young and took us along to Vegas as well. We had a blast! But now my sister complains that it was inappropriate!! Too surreal for me. Bethenny is a narcissist.
Do for ME Give to ME and if you don’t then I will be certain to make everyone miserable until I get my way. My sister treats and talks about our mother EXACTLY like this! My sister once got into some wine w her girlfriends at the tender age of 17 and blames our mother for ALLOWING it to happen. This is like the twilight zone for me. By the way, I am a very happy and well adjusted adult having grown up in the same household with my sister. Difference is that I own my own misbehaviors and learned how to GROW UP!

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lana

Posted at 3:26 PM on April 15, 2011  

I agree. I have seen millions of kids in LAs Vegas. What is wrong with that? And Russian emigrants alwasy selebrate at restaruants that you can call night clubs with kids and eldrely.Music and drinks and dansing and eating. I can not imagine those kids growing up and blaming thier parents for inapropriate upbringing. I alss do not know many families where parents never fight. But the most important thing is. You just do not go in front of millions and humiate your mather…rightly or wrongly. Bethenny did not think twice
before throwinga bucket of dirt on her mother. As if humiliating your own mother is a normal thing ans as if her mother should just feel nothing for it. I have never in a millions years blamed my parents for mistakes i made. My doing, my blaming. Part of growing up. Million of kids start drinking too young and experiment with drugs. So, all this young people sshould grow up and throw rocks at theri parents? No parent is a perfect parent. And most of the children grow up to love them and deal with their parents problems percisely because they are family and have to take care of each other. Bethenny is missing this ‘goodness-driven’ emototioanl ingredient in her phychic. The chip is definetely missing in Bethenny. Jason is very avare of all those connections with the parents and family in whole.
Tem mother

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lizzie100

Posted at 10:05 AM on March 26, 2011  

It sickens me that a mother would call her child “demented” in the press. Bethenny has never used language like that about her mother. She said she was an alcoholic and that has been corroborated by Bethenny’s stepfather. That is the worse thing Bethenny has ever said and it is apparently true.

This woman is just trying to get attention and get even with he daughter. Every time she makes one of these outrageous statements it just makes what Bethenny says about her childhood look TRUE.

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Lana

Posted at 3:50 PM on April 15, 2011  

Bethenny started it. Nobody pulled Bethenny by the hair to
open her mouth and shame her mother. And Bethenny is doing it constantly. Her mother never spoke publicaly first.
It is only so many time a parent who spent his/her life raising a kid kan take this abuse before speaking out finaly. I am not saying her mother is a good person. I am simply implying that Bethenny has shown a very ugly side of herself by shoving her mother into the shame-corner in front of Amrica. There was zero need to do so. I did not notice Betheny getting healthier doing it. Bethenny trew a dark shadow on herself when she did it. I would not be able to live with myslef if i attacked my mother in front of people. Bethenny should of found a way to deal with it respectfully. There is a saying, when you try to put someone down, you realy put yourself down. Betheny has very bad issue of knowing the basic dicency of family-relationhsips dealing are.

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Ginger

Posted at 6:22 PM on March 25, 2011  

I don’t know what happened between Bethenny and her mom but I don’t like Bethenny at all on RHONYC. She is so demanding. But I can relate so maybe that’s why I don’t like her. hahaha

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gbtw

Posted at 4:24 PM on March 25, 2011  

her mother sounds demented… no matter how mad you’d ever get at your daughter, you would never speak so nastily about your child- unless you yourself were demented. separately, bethenny looks horrible. she needs to gain weight, and get a smaller implant. she looks like a stick figure with a bobble head and big circles pasted onto her chest. no offense bethenny, but you need to “natural up” a bit… i’m all in favor of skinniness and plastic surgery if it makes you feel better, but she’s gone a little too unnatural with her look. it sort of worked about 3 years ago, but not anymore… she needs to adjust her work.

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Debbie

Posted at 8:44 AM on March 29, 2011  

I don’t think Bethenny has implants, she was breastfeeding her baby and you can’t do that with implants

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Joelle

Posted at 1:38 PM on March 29, 2011  

Some women with implants can still breastfeed, but who cares if she does or not.

 
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Are you kidding?

Posted at 1:02 PM on March 31, 2011  

I saw old pics of Bethenny sunbathing topless and she definitely has implants now. They so obviously LOOK like implants too. They look bad, she does need a redo. I don’t think she breastfed very long b/c she was traveling w/o Bryn soon after the birth.

 
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Lisa

Posted at 12:08 PM on April 9, 2011  

Ummm. yes you can breast feed with implants. Get your info. straight.

 
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Taylor

Posted at 3:46 PM on April 13, 2011  

Actually you can breastfeed with implants. I successfully breastfed my children with my implants in. They do not interfere with the milk ducts. Bethanny definately has implants & good for her, she looks fantastic! Thank goodness these days we mommies can have it all!
Taylor

 
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diabla

Posted at 11:30 AM on April 17, 2011  

Why are people so hateful? Bethany’s went on a show and talked about her childhood. She was open and honest …hopefully it helped someone out there in the same situation. A mother would never say that about their child. Her stepfather confirmed that her mother was an alcholic for those that doubt and about the eating disorder. He may or may not have known about any other abuse going on. She was a child and may not have spoken up about any other abuse or how it was affecting her.
I do think that Bethany should at one point talk to her mom and try to come to a place of some sort of forgiveness. Some people are just too toxic to let back into your life though and only she can say what is right for her.

 
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diabla

Posted at 11:34 AM on April 17, 2011  

Oh and you can also pump your breast milk while traveling or working. Thousands of working mothers do it everyday. You can also store your milk to be fed to your child while away on a trip. I don’t think she is first mother who breastfeeds who has left her child for a few days to go on a trip or even have a night out!!!!

 
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gigi

Posted at 1:04 PM on April 27, 2011  

yes you can and she talks openly about having implants. also google her and see the before and after pics. she did.

 
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Lau

Posted at 3:10 AM on August 4, 2011  

Bethenny is Awesome! Stop talking about silly things!BE HAPPY! Its easier to be mean. XO

 
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oh dear

Posted at 12:19 PM on March 25, 2011  

tissue stuck to shoe, tissue stuck to shoe! classic :D

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