Professional matchmaker and dating coach Matt Titus and his wife, author and media personality Tamsen Fadal, tell you whether the jealousy strategy will make an ex desperate to get you back. Read on…
HollywoodLife.com invited our guest bloggers, The Love Consultants Matt Titus and Tamsen Fadal, to give us their inside take on the way Ashley Greene has stepped out so publicly since her breakup with Joe Jonas. They have split views on whether it’s right to try to make your ex jealous.
We all heard the sad news that Ashley and Joe called it quits. The two began dating last summer so they didn’t even make it a year as a couple. In the last week, Ashley has been seen out and about with both Kings of Leon bassist Jared Followill and Captain America star Chris Evans. The girl is not weeping in her Cheerios over losing her very own Jonas Brother.
Joe is 21, Ashley is 24. You know what that tells me? That tells me that they don’t have a clue about a mature relationships. It’s Hollywood high school time, folks. Watching Ashley immediately jump into the arms of Jared after splitting with Joe reminded me of what I like to call, The EX-HIT Strategy. What this scenario is all about is making your ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend know you aren’t losing any sleep without them. It’s in-your-face dating, and Ashley is working it hard!
Nothing works quicker when you want to make an ex feel bad than making them jealous. Jealousy is a tool in the dating world, I know, I know — how can you say that, Matt? I can say it because it’s true! Lots of rotten things are used and done in the game of love, and to play the game to win, you gotta be fearless — and Ashley is fearless. She was always a little wild child. Remember when those nude photographs of her hit the web in 2009? After that scandal, she continued to pose provocatively and she has never shied away from her sexuality. Just look at her rebound fling, Jared. He’s got an edge, something lil’ Jonas Bro Joe definitely lacks.
I see this as Miss Greene being tired of a steady diet of vanilla and wanting some bold new flavors. She’s a young, single and incredibly beautiful girl — she’s supposed to go boy crazy! If she makes Joe jealous in the process, well that’s just part of the dating game.
Moving on with life after a breakup is very important. I cannot stress that enough. By showing that the breakup hasn’t knocked you off stride and that you’re going on about your life normally, your ex will be jealous. And if you’re moving forward more quickly than they are? Congrats! Because this is exactly what you want.
And what about poor Joe? Oh don’t worry, I’m sure he’ll be using his own EX-HIT strategy before we know it!
Joe and Ashley breaking up isn’t something to chalk up to the trials and tribulations of young love. Relationships are relationships. If the two people cared about each other, then honest feelings were involved and there’s hurt.
Now, on the subject of her whirlwind rebound dates, and her use of jealousy to make an ex feel bad, I can only say — not a good idea! Jealousy is not an effective tactic in my playbook. Usually, when we use a negative action, it rarely works as we expect it to. Most often, it ends up turning on the user! Dating someone new, very quickly after a breakup, to make an ex feel jealous can turn into a nightmare if you aren’t thinking of the feelings of the another person.
On the subject of Ashley and Joe, each can play this jealousy “game” forever — they are both hot young personalities and the stable of available people more than happy to share a fling or more with them is pretty much endless.
I also wouldn’t label Joe Jonas as a sensitive soul, tearing his hair out over the split. He’s done a little damage himself by breaking the hearts of ex-girlfriends Demi Lovato, Camilla Belle and Taylor Swift. So a wallflower he is not.
Ashley is a newly single 24-year-old starlet in Hollywood. It’s no surprise she’s going to be out having fun. But remember, a few more shot-in-the-dark hookups, and she’ll go from “single girl” to “party girl. “ Paging Ms. Lohan, paging Ms. Lohan…
The bottom line is that playing with other people’s feelings and using jealousy is not be the best way to get ex back into your life!