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'Desperate Housewives' Recap: Susan Makes A Bucket List & Someone Pulls A Mary-Alice!

Sun, March 6, 2011 10:38pm EDT by Andy Swift 1 Comment

Good news: Susan might finally have a kidney! Bad news: It’s because one of her besties killed herself.


Poor Susan (Teri Hatcher) literally has one foot out Death’s Door. When the doctors told her she should spend her time doing what she always wanted to do — aka she’s dying soon — she and Mike (James Denton) decided to renew their vows in the woods where they got married. Unfortunately, a group of Civil War re-enacters kind of ruined their special moment. The south may rise again… but Mike could not.


If I ever need a kidney, I’m calling Bree (Marcia Cross.) This week, she rallied hardcore around Susan’s cause and found her TWO donors: Beth (Emily Bergl) and — wait for it — herself! Bree paid Beth a visit to thank her for getting tested, but also to inform her that her kidney wouldn’t be needed. Bree said she really needs to do this to give her life meaning again. I think I like Bree better when she’s not in a relationship. She’s a lot less crazy.


This week’s episode of Lynette Knows Best found René (Vanessa Williams) babysitting baby Paige to see if she was really ready motherhood. As it turns out, she’s not. She took Paige on a date with her to a fancy restaurant, and of course it was the exact restaurant where Lynette and Tom (Doug Savant) were eating. Hilarity, bribery, and a sad life-realization ensued.


This week’s bathroom breaks came courtesy of Gabby (Eva Longoria), who competed with her next door gay-bor Lee to see whose kid could put on a better performance at the talent show. As always, Gabby started off clueless — she did Juanita’s (Madison De La Garza) tap shoes to keep her from embarrassing herself — but eventually came around and had a great revelation about motherhood. I was pretty bored of the predictable storyline, but getting to see Juanita actually tap dance at the end of the episode was a treat. I anxiously await the inevitable GIFs.

This week’s ‘WTF’ moment:

I have to admit, I was stunned when Beth pulled a Mary-Alice (Brenda Strong) at the end of the episode, blowing her brains out in the middle of the hospital like that JUST so she was guaranteed to be Susan’s kidney donor. What does she have to gain from doing this? And is she really dead? Unfortunately, it doesn’t look like we’ll be getting our answers next week. (Yes, ANOTHER repeat!)