Lindsey Says: Like Debra Messing & Lisa Kudrow, Wait Until You're 30 To Get Married & Have Kids!

Fri, March 4, 2011 7:15pm EST by 2 Comments

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HollyMoms, do you think I’m weird to want to wait until 30 to get married and start having kids? Or do you feel the same way? Share your thoughts with me!

It’s a new generation and a different time! Women in the United States are waiting until later in life to start their families. 30 years ago, the average age for an American women to get married was 20, but according to a recent study, the median age for college-educated women to get married is now 30! Women in America: Indicators of Social and Economic Well-Being is a new in-depth look at American women’s reproductive and socio-economic trends commissioned by President Obama.

So what does this mean? Like Friends star Lisa Kudrow and Will & Grace‘s Debra Messing, it’s more than common (and wise, in my opinion) for women to wait until their thirties to get married and start having kids. And for me, this is the very track I hope to be on, though I admit: you never know when life will throw you a curve ball and change the direction of your game plan!

Lisa and Debra are two brilliant women who set perfect examples of what generation Y and young members of generation X desire out of life. Lisa graduated from Vassar College with a B.S. in Biology. She got married at 31 to French advertising exec Michael Stern and gave birth son Julian at 34. Debra met her husband Daniel Zelman on the first day of graduate school at New York University. They married when she was 31 and she gave birth to their son Roman at 34. These two ladies truly have it all: an education, a career, a husband and babies!

I’m 24, and I know it’s been an unspoken dream of my own mother’s to see me married and popping out babies as soon as possible. So if you are in the same situation as me, this is what you can tell those nagging mamas — that it’s OK to wait until you’re older to start in on that facet of life because it’s actually a smart move.

Here’s why — statistics prove that women who wait to get married until after the age of 25 have lower chances of getting divorced. Also, women who graduate from college usually lead a more financially stable life.

And when it comes to getting pregnant, experts agree that women are in their prime till the age of 35. At 35, that’s when you start seeing a very small decrease in fertility, but not enough to scare future moms.

At 35, “that’s when things start to go downward,” says Dr. Joel Batzofin, Medical Director of New York Fertility Services in NYC. “But at 38, the fecundity rate drops by 30%.” That’s when “the egg quality’s not so good and fallopian tube function’s are not as agile,” he adds. But he also says that many older women can still get pregnant without problems.

A woman who has not contracted a STD in her past should have no issue getting pregnant until the age of 35, agrees Dr. Tara Solomon. But if a woman experienced just one episode of chlamydia or gonorrhea, her chance of getting pregnant drops by 10 percent.

Waiting to get pregnant until 30 is normal for women today. “Since many women are aiming for not only college, but graduate or professional degrees (M.D., J.D., etc.), many modern-day women delay marriage and/or childbearing,” says Dr. Melody T. McCloud, an obstetrician-gynecologist and author of Living Well, Despite Catchin’ Hell: The Woman’s Guide to Health, Sex and Happiness. “This has become “normal” for women of our time.”

- Lindsey DiMattina

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Posted at 1:57 PM on March 5, 2011  

Kalismile I agree with you some people shouldn’t have kids. and it’s not in our time that we’re blessed with children it’s in gods

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Posted at 10:16 PM on March 4, 2011  

Just like you can’t tell other people how to spend their money, you can’t tell others how and when to have their families. I had my first child at 19 and my next two at 25 and 26. They are smart, caring, successful young people now. It’s not always a recipe for success, but neither is waiting, because some people just shouldn’t have kids.

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