Bonnie Says: Anne Hathaway & James Franco Totally Bombed At The Oscars! Bring Back Billy Crystal PLEASE!

Mon, February 28, 2011 10:35am EDT by 17 Comments

After their promising opening movie montage, it was off- the -cliff for this pair that both need to go back to their day jobs.

When I think of Anne Hathaway and James Franco‘s hosting gig at the 83rd annual Academy Awards, I can’t help but relate it to the group projects my kids do in school. Inevitably there is one over-achiever who does all the work, while the other partner totally slacks off. Anne certainly gave it the old college try — singing, dancing, dress – twirling and cheering it up. To Anne’s credit, it took a lot of guts to belt a Les Misérables-inspired number in front of all of Hollywood (and the world), but even her Broadway-worthy pipes weren’t enough to save the sinking Oscars ship.

But James on the other hand, barely bothered even showing up. He was so absent, I even wondered if the Academy had given him detention halfway through the program.

Rumors inevitably flew that glossy-eyed James was drunk and/or stoned. But regardless of what he was (or wasn’t) on, the fact is he had absolutely no faith in his own performance. Just watch this backstage video, below, that  James shot before the show, in which he tells fans “It might be bad. … It might be horrible.” Guess what James- you were right!

It was such a relief when eight times Oscar host Billy Crystal, showed  up two-thirds of the way through the show. Didn’t you just want him to stay or do a takeover? The audience was visibly relieved when Billy the Pro commandeered the stage and reminded us all of what a “real” Oscar host can do. His own lines were 100 times better than anything James and Anne mouthed off the teleprompter.

Even dead Bob Hope, was a relief. If I could have brought him back from the grave to shoo James and Anne away, I would have.

Whoever came up with the idea of pairing the zero-chemistry Anne and James needs to be pink-slipped immediately. Why they thought these Oscars amateurs would have brought in a younger demographic, I don’t know. Neither is THAT popular. If it was solely demographics, the Oscars was looking for, all they had to do was hand the hosting duties over to Robert Pattinson and Kristin Stewart. Hey,  just an appearance would have sufficed.

Listen next year Academy – get a pro. Billy, Alec Baldwin, John Stewart, Jimmy Kimmel, Michael Douglas, Tom Hanks  – someone that knows what they’re doing and can OWN that stage and our TV sets. Do not turn Oscars into amateur hour. Send James Franco back to that crevice and put a rock on it — at least for as long as the Oscar show lasts.

You agree, Hollywoodlifers?

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(While his future as an Oscars host may be bleak, his future as a fortune teller looks very promising.)