The New Adventures Of A HollyDaddy: The Amazing Farting Baby

Thu, February 17, 2011 12:24pm EDT by Add first Comment
Posted Thu, February 17, 2011 12:24pm EDT

Baby Callum has been suffering from bad gas. We know this, for the same reason our neighbors know this, because he’s been emitting frequent loud, thunderous, crib-rattling farts.

They were horrifying at first, and then funny – particularly the time he passed wind with such gusto he blew his diaper off.

But then we started to worry that it wasn’t normal for a newborn to reach the same fart decibel level as a trucker with a cholesterol problem.

Besides the impressive soundlevels they were reaching, these explosive ‘messages’ were proving painful for Callum to pass – forcing us to come to the conclusion that something was a little wrong.

I Ate My Baby’s Umbilical Cord!

This was confirmed during a visit to Callum’s pediatrician, who looked particularly concerned when we asked “is it normal for a newborn to fart like an adult”. The answer was, obviously, “no”.

After a quick test of his tight tummy the doctor told us he was carrying too much gas. The culprit? Callum’s mom’s fondness for Indian food – a weekly indulgence she’d been unable to shake throughout the pregnancy. (We just presumed Callum would come out already familiar with the taste, odor and digestive difficulties of a spicy chicken dhansak). Curry was struck immediately from the menu in our household and the regularity and loudness of his farts instantly improved.

The New Adventures Of A HollyDaddy — Introducing HollyBaby’s Own Ian Garland!

But he was still gassy and in pain. He would whine and groan for 20 minutes before squeezing out a pocket of gas and then collapsing in relief. It was time to try something else…

So we did what every other rookie parent does, we called our moms… and then Googled it. My mom suggested “give him a little water” and Google told us to try gas-relief drops and a special bottle, made by Avent, that releases air as the baby drinks.

We tried them all, and it worked!

Callum is still a farty little thing, but thanks to a better diet and a few new tricks up our sleeves, he’s a happy and less irritable baby. And he’s treating our ears to more cute coos than offensive farts!

How did you soothe your gassy baby, share your tips and techniques with the rest of our readers!

— Ian Garland