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LAURA'S LOVE ADVICE: Is It OK To Admit You're In Love When The Relationship Is New Especially Around Valentine's Day, Like Selena Did?

Mon, February 14, 2011 12:33pm EDT by 3 Comments
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Although they’ve only been seriously dating since January, Selena Gomez just dropped the ‘l’ word on Justin Bieber. Is it too soon?

When you’re in a new relationship and ecstatically happy, you want to tell the world how euphoric you are. Selena Gomez is no different from the rest of us — at the Grammy Awards Sunday night she used the ‘l’ word to describe her feelings for new BF Justin Bieber. But is Selena putting undue pressure on her relationship by rushing things? How soon is too soon to announce that you’re in love?

When asked if she was annoyed by the persistent rumors that she was dating the teen singing sensation, Selena said, “Yea, of course, but it comes with the job. I love him though very much.” Well, hell, girl, why’d you have to go and say ‘love’ around Valentine’s Day? If Justin were an older man that would send him running for the relationship exit sign!

Because this adorable couple seems to be PG-rated (and they’re 16 and 18, respectively), I’ll allow that it might be OK to confess your true feelings at such a young age. It’s puppy love, and there really aren’t a select set of rules for learning the relationship ropes. You kind of wing it and hope it works. But for adults, this fast and loose love confession would not fly.

For starters, men fear Valentine’s Day when you’re in a new relationship. In fact, it a man feels too much pressure to be romantic when he’s not even all that sure he’s into you yet, he may just call the whole thing off. Candy, flowers, dramatic confessions — all that malarky is terrifying to a guy if he doesn’t really know if you’re a girl he wants to seriously date.

If Selena and Justin were a little older, I predict he wouldn’t be all that jazzed to hear she loved him. They went on a few light dates in December, were kissing in the Caribbean in January and have most recently – gasp! – just been photographed holding hands (scandalous). That’s two months of dating, and much too soon to tell your respective other you’re in love with him.

If your relationship is new, play it cool on Valentine’s Day. Don’t pressure your man, and don’t be upset if he doesn’t do more than take you to dinner (or even that). Don’t be surprised if he tries to avoid the day entirely. Although it’s in your right to be peeved if he pretends the day doesn’t exist, try to see things from his point of you — and just try to enjoy the day with the person you love the most…yourself.


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