Jwoww Tells YOU How to Get The Man You Want In Her Practical Guide For Women — Check It Out!

Wed, February 9, 2011 9:50pm EDT by 3 Comments

The ‘Jersey Shore’ star crafts an excellent girl guide in her book ‘The Rules According to JWOWW’!

Of all the cast members on the much maligned Jersey Shore, Jennifer “Jwoww” Farley has always come across as one of the most practical and (mostly) level-headed, both traits she brings to her first book, The Rules According to JWOWW: Shore-Tested Secrets on Landing a Mint Guy, Staying Fresh to Death, and Kicking the Competition to the Curb. Kind of a mouthful of a title, but a surprisingly good read.

This being a book from Jwoww there is of course a large emphasis on Ms. Farley’s biggest asset, her breasts. There are also some tips on what to do when the sex with your man just isn’t on point. A sample:

  • Show and Tell: “Don’t bark orders, instead purr like a kitten when he’s in the right area and guide his hand to your hot spots.”
  • Don’t Do It … For a While: “Ain’t nothing like no sex to make you want and appreciate it more.”
  • Use Your Mouth: “Use your lips, teeth, and tongue to lick, suck, nibble and kiss.”

If the sex does not get better and the relationship ends, Jwoww has three easy steps for getting over it.

  • Cocoon: “When I got through a breakup, I just want to be all alone for three days and just lay in bed with a bottle of whatever and a few boxes of Kleenex.”
  • Hit Something (not your ex): “I took my frustrations out at the gym. Kicking, punching, and hitting feels good, I promise.”
  • Distract Yourself: “Bake, paint, knit, learn to fo the f***ing Cha-Cha-Cha.”

Jwoww also offers advice to women throughout the book like what to do if your man compares you to other women. “1. Punch him in the mouth; 2. Tell him to stick a sock in it.” While this may not be the PC way to deal with the situation, it is definitely the most honest and, in all reality, most effective.

Jwoww gives workout tips, the best meal to cook your man and so much more. While a minor complete may be how the book is in no way gender neutral, especially as Jwoww’s fanbase includes so many different groups, it’s a minor complaint.

It’s a fun, easy read and you could do much, much worse when it comes to Jersey Shore tomes. Just ask The Situation

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Smiley

Posted at 7:21 PM on May 5, 2011  

You’re on top of the game. Thanks for shnairg.

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Shayne

Posted at 2:45 PM on February 10, 2011  

I didn’t think she had the brain capacity to even know what a book was.

And I feel really bad for anyone that takes dating advice from a jersey shore cast member.

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Booger

Posted at 7:41 AM on February 10, 2011  

She needs to them bog ole floppy things up! They look like flab.

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