LAURA'S LOVE LIFE ADVICE: Should You Keep Hooking Up With An Ex If You're Not Sure He Wants You Back Like Vanessa Is Doing With Zac?

Fri, January 28, 2011 11:52am EDT by 7 Comments
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Although they’ve broken up, Vanessa Hudgens and Zac Efron are still getting cozy. Is V disrespecting herself by hooking up with her ex?

Have you ever heard the expression, ‘Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?’ Well, that’s exactly what Vanessa Hudgens may be doing by getting it on with ex-boyfriend Zac Efron sans commitment!

The former couple — who met on the set of High School Musical years ago — have officially broken up, but seem to be spending an inordinate amount of time together regardless. The latest: it appears that Zac, 23, has visited Vanessa, 22, on the set of her latest film, Journey 2: The Mysterious Island — which just so happens to be far away from LA in Wilmington, North Carolina. That’s a hefty distance to travel for a girl who isn’t your girlfriend, no?

We don’t know all the particulars, of course. Vanessa might have wanted this break as badly as Zac did. But here’s the thing: men and women operate on different planes of emotion. It’s like we really are from different planets (all that Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus rubbish aside). Zac might be able to separate sex from emotion, but I predict that V is hoping they’ll get back together, and is willing to accept whatever her ex is giving her.

So SHOULD you keep hooking up with an ex? I’d have to say sorry, Charlie, but no way. If, like Vanessa and Zac, you’re on a break to figure things out and ascertain whether you really belong together, then give yourselves that freedom by foregoing constant togetherness. Getting down without commitment isn’t doing either of you any favors — particularly when you’re the female half of the relationship. By allowing him to do what he wants with you, you’re basically telling your ex that you’ll always be there, and he can have his friendship cake and eat it, too. He doesn’t need to be your boyfriend because you’re already giving him everything he wants without a title.

If I were in Vanessa’s shoes, I’d keep the relationship platonic until Zac realized what he wanted. Perhaps they could do coffee when she got back to LA, and frequent phone calls (not every day, mind you) are always a plus. But you should definitely avoid seeing your ex at night to avoid those last-minute booty-calls. Make him miss you, and you might get him to recommit. Because really, who wants to be a friend with benefits when you’ve already had the benefit of an amazing boyfriend?

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