Jada Pinkett Smith Has 'No Rules' When It Comes To Raising Jaden And Willow. Is This OK?

Tue, December 14, 2010 9:30am EST by 3 Comments

Jada Pinkett Smith says she and husband Will Smith “negotiate” the rules with their children, Jaden and Willow. An expert says this is bad parenting, and could lead to the kids being out of control like Miley Cyrus!

Instead of setting rules in their house, Jada Pinkett Smith and Will Smith deal with problems as they arise by negotiating agreements with their kids Jaden, 12, and Willow, 10. And they let the kids set their own punishment. Do you think this is a good way to parent a child?

Willow wants to be a bigger star than Lady Gaga!

“We don’t have rules. We come up with agreements,” Jada, 39, explains to Style magazine. “Kids are little people, and we’re in life to guide them. Trying to rule someone is always an illusion, and it’s no different with children.” We get what she’s trying to say, but it sounds like Jada and Will, 42, let their kids get away with a little too much — their parents are treating them like ittle adults, but Jaden and Willow are only tweens! (We’re sure Will’s 18-year-old son, Trey, runs his own show by now).

“Although ideally parents shouldn’t be prison guards when they set rules, they still need to be parents — not playmates agreeing on how to play a game,” psychiatrist Dr. Carole Lieberman tells HollyBaby. “If parents don’t set rules, children grow up feeling insecure and have to keep testing the boundaries to make sure their parents still care about them. Kids will push the envelope to keep their parents’ attention and to reassure themselves that their parents won’t let them get hurt. Many stars, whose parents never set boundaries when they were kids, are still pushing the envelope to get attention. Just look at Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Britney Spears — and now Miley Cyrus.”

Could Jaden and Willow be headed down that path? We sure hope not!

Describing her style of parenting, Jada gave an example of a situation that happened when Willow signed up for a social-networking site after being told not to do it. “I told her not to, so I was so mad,” Jada explains. “I said, ‘What do you think I should do now?’ So Willow said, ‘Mom, take my computer away.’ And I said, ‘How long for?’ She said a month.”

Are Will and Jada pushing their kids too hard?

Willow basically created her own punishment! It just doesn’t seem right for a 10-year-old to do. “So it’s negotiations,” Jada says. “I’m not saying it’s always perfect. I have my bloops and my blunders. But I’m doing my best.”

What do you think about the Smith’s parenting style — agree with it or disagree?

–Leigh Blickley

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