Let's Remember Leslie Nielsen With His Funniest Quotes From 'Airplane' & 'The Naked Gun!'

Mon, November 29, 2010 11:24am EST by 4 Comments

Leslie sadly passed away Nov. 28, but his memory will live on through these hilarious quotes!

We remember Leslie Nielson as one of Hollywood’s funniest actors, but did you know he didn’t come out of his serious persona until his mid-50s? The actor will always be known as Dr. Rumack in the 1980 classic Airplane, the break-out role that lead to years of success in comedy. Check out his top quotes from some of his most memorable and hilarious roles!

From ‘Airplane':

Rumack: Can you fly this plane, and land it?
Ted Striker: Surely you can’t be serious.
Rumack: I am serious… and don’t call me Shirley.


Rumack: You’d better tell the Captain we’ve got to land as soon as we can. This woman has to be gotten to a hospital.
Elaine Dickinson: A hospital? What is it?
Rumack: It’s a big building with patients, but that’s not important right now.


Rumack: Captain, how soon can you land?
Captain Oveur: I can’t tell.
Rumack: You can tell me. I’m a doctor.
Captain Oveur: No. I mean I’m just not sure.
Rumack: Well, can’t you take a guess?
Captain Oveur: Well, not for another two hours.
Rumack: You can’t take a guess for another two hours?


From ‘The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad!':

Frank: It’s the same old story. Boy finds girl, boy loses girl, girl finds boy, boy forgets girl, boy remembers girl, girl dies in a tragic blimp accident over the Orange Bowl on New Year’s Day.
Jane: Goodyear?
Frank: No, the worst.


Mayor: Now Drebin, I don’t want any trouble like you had on the South Side last year, that’s my policy.
Frank: Well, when I see five weirdos, dressed in togas, stabbing a man in the middle of the park in full view of a hundred people, I shoot the bastards, that’s *my* policy!
Mayor: That was a Shakespeare-In-The-Park production of ‘Julius Caesar,’ you moron! You killed five actors! Good ones!


Frank: I’d known her for years. We used to go to all the police functions together. Ah, how I loved her, but she had her music. I think she had her music. She’d hang out with the Chicago Male Chorus and Symphony. I don’t recall her playing an instrument or being able to carry a tune. Yet she was on the road 300 days of the year. In fact, I bought her a harp for Christmas. She asked me what it was.


From ‘The Naked Gun 2½: The Smell of Fear':

Frank: That’s the red-light district. I wonder why Savage is hanging around down there.
Ed: Sex, Frank?
Frank: Uh, no, not right now, Ed.


Frank: Now, Jane, what can you tell us about the man you saw last night?
Jane: He’s Caucasian.
Ed: Caucasian?
Jane: Yeah, you know, a white guy. A moustache. About six-foot-three.
Frank: Awfully big moustache.


Frank: I’m single! I love being single! I haven’t had this much sex since I was a Boy Scout leader!
(Music Stops. People stare.)
Frank: I mean at the time I was dating a lot.


From ‘Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult':

Tanya: What are you doing?
Frank: Oh! I was, uh, just conjugating my next move.
Tanya: Your bishop’s exposed.
Frank: It’s these pants.


Frank: Well… We shot a lot of people together. It’s been great. But today I retire, so if I do any shooting now, it’ll have to be within the confines of my own home. Hopefully, an intruder and not an in-law, like at my bachelor party


Ed: You might end up dead!
Frank: “You might end up dead” is my middle name.
Ed: What about Jane?
Frank: I don’t know her middle name.

Did we miss any classic Leslie lines? Tell us YOUR favorite Leslie Nielsen movie in our comments section below.

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steph Edwards

Posted at 11:40 PM on April 1, 2012  

Like a blind man in an orgy im gonna have to feel my way through this one

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Posted at 2:31 PM on November 29, 2010  

Frank: “Nice beaver!”

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Posted at 1:29 PM on November 29, 2010  

“like a blind man at an orgy , I’d have to feel things out” and also from 33 1/3 ” like a midget at a urinal I was going to have to stay on my toes” I love those movies he will definitely be missed.

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Laura Hungerford

Posted at 11:59 AM on November 29, 2010  

What a sad loss! On behalf of all of Leslie’s fans, we have created a site to memorialize Leslie’s amazing life. These memories are eternal, so please help by sharing yours on this free memorial site and give back to his family at this difficult time.


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