Andy's 'Desperate Housewives' Afterthoughts: I Always Knew Vanessa Williams Was Terrified Of Midgets!

Sun, October 17, 2010 10:51pm EST by 4 Comments

And that was just one of the absurd going-on of the Oct. 17 episode!

In fact, aside from Gabby’s (Eva Longoria) baby-swapping storyline, all of the housewives seem to have once again found themselves in ridiculous situations: Susan (Teri Hatcher) has become the face of an international fetish website, Bree (Marcia Cross) is using René’s fear of little people as as a tactic in their ongoing cougar war, and Lynette’s (Felicity Huffman) daughter Penny took over mommy duties and ended up kidnapping the new baby.


The bizarre Little Mermaid relationship between Susan and her landlady slash porn-madam (Lainey Kazan) thickened this week when she suddenly announced that Susan’s naughty mug would soon be plastered on billboards all across the country. AND things got even more interesting when we saw an unknown creepy man take an interest in Susan’s work! Do I smell a stalker?


It seems Gabby’s bout with poverty in season five hasn’t actually taught her anything. Now that she’s met her biological daughter, Grace, she’s determined to give her nice things — even though Grace’s other “mother” doesn’t want her to. After six season (and 11 years) has she still not learned that happiness and money aren’t mutually exclusive?


Though I was hoping Vanessa Williams‘ character would be more central to the season’s mystery, I’m still just happy to have her around. Not only does she gel really nicely with her fellow housewives, but she also gets all the best lines:

  1. To Gabby: “Up until today, I thought you were Juanita.”
  2. To Keith (Brian Austin Green): “You’re funny, and you eat out of a basket. I like that.”


Now here’s something new: Lynette felt drained because of the new baby (again) so she decided to ask Tom (Doug Savant) for a nanny… again! Did she forget what happened the last time? If you’ve been a viewer since season one, you’ll remember how jealous Lynette was of their teenage nanny, Claire (Marla Sokoloff.) And Tom certainly hasn’t gotten any less dumb since then.


I wish the writers would give Bree something dramatic to work with. I’m really not an ENORMOUS fan of her sillier storylines, like tonight’s, which found Bree hiring a “little person” to spook René and ruin her date with Keith. Bree needs to leave the cougar-ing for Gabby, and the sitcomical nonsense to Susan and Lynette.

If any of these women had real jobs, they wouldn’t have so much time for all this nonsense.

— Andy Swift