After 11 years of marriage Courteney Cox and David Arquette have decided to call it quits. Experts say that their struggle with infertility put a strain on their relationship.
When Courtney Cox and David Arquette stated dating in 1996, people said they were an odd couple. But as they say, opposites attract and the couple tied the knot in 1999. Some said they’d never last, and they were proven right yesterday (Oct. 11) when the couple announced their separation. Family therapist, Dr. Sherry Meyers tells RadarOnline.com that Courteney’s struggles with infertility definitely took a toll on her marriage to David, 39, both physically and emotionally. “The statistics are high for divorce because the process is so stressful,” she says.
“It is a blow to self-esteem, it doesn’t matter how powerful or successful you are in the world, but infertility is an ego blow,” Dr. Meyers says. “When you look at your partner that is probably part of the shame too.”
While there are reports of infidelity on both sides, infertility was possibly a contributing factor to their split. But the couple’s 11-year marriage was never smooth sailing. And Courteney was open about how the couple dealt with their issues. “We’ve done couples therapy in the past,” the 46-year-old admitted. “We’re not lazy about our marriage. We have the same arguments we’ve had for years.”
But as anyone who’s dealt with infertility problems knows, it can be an all-consuming issue. While the couple has a beautiful 6-year-old daughter, Coco, via in-vitro fertilization, Courteney wasn’t able to have any more kids, despite trying.
Throughout their marriage she suffered a series of miscarriages. “I get pregnant pretty easily, but I have a hard time keeping them,” she admitted. Insiders close to the couple say that earlier this year David was ready and willing to adopt a child in an effort to save their marriage, but Courteney had reached her breaking point and just felt hopeless about ever getting pregnant again.
What is it about trying to have a baby that can destroy a marriage? “In some way, it sucks the life out of the relationship because suddenly it becomes more and more stressful and more and more of a drain,” says Dr. Meyers.
“When attention goes to making a life, that’s where breakdown and stress happens. Sex life becomes a scientific experiment, it’s no longer an expression of love and it’s a success or a failure based on the results. When couples forget the three A’s — attention, appreciate and affection — which is so important and vital to make any relationship strong. That’s when relationships start to drift apart and people start disconnecting. It’s a troublesome path and it erodes marriages.”
It’s a shame that the one thing that Courteney and David wanted the most could be what actually drove them apart.