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Bonnie Says: Duke University's Karen Owen Is The Sexual Oversharer of All time! And Good Luck Getting a Job!

Fri, October 8, 2010 2:16pm EDT by 33 Comments

Forget Jessica Simpson’s gas attacks or the Kardashian sisters’ obsessions with ‘lube’ and bikini waxing, a Duke university grad, Karen Owen, has become an overnight celebrity for her detailed PowerPoint of 13 of her lovers’ social skills.

This 22-year-old wrote a personal “senior honors thesis” on her sexual flings and binges with 13 of Duke University’s most desirable men, mostly well-built male athletes.

Now, Karen Owen didn’t just describe her sexual encounters, she named the men, used their photos and then ruthlessly evaluated their sexual techniques and equipment (or lack thereof) in highly specific detail.

She grades each of her “subjects” on physical attractiveness, “size” (as in the penile variety), talents, creativity, aggressiveness (which she likes), entertainment, athletic ability and “bonus.”

Bonus points were given for “extraneous” factors such as the presence of an Australian accent and points were deducted for “rudeness of being Canadian.” Wow, does that mean that being Canadian, in bed, is just plain rude? Warning to Justin Bieber especially: DO NOT have relations with Karen Owen.

Now, Karen Owen — who was a biological anthropology major — perhaps thought her opus sexual critique was a positive expression of her course of study. She now claims it was all a joke. At least that’s what she told some of the press.

What it tells me is that biological anthropology was clearly not that demanding a course of study, and that she had a HUGE amount of time on her hands. She spent countless hours in local bar Shooters drinking endlessly and picking up her subjects, then bedding them and finally documenting in explicit detail the memorable moment of their hot (and not) hookups.

It’s TMI time of epic proportions: From their pillow talk to positions, to her preferences for violent sex! TMI, TMI, TMI.

What all this also tells me about Karen Owens is that she is self-absorbed and evilly passive-aggressive, despite her protests now that she only intended the PowerPoint sex critique to go to three friends and that “I regret it with all my heart. I would never intentionally hurt the people that are mentioned on that.”

Oh, really, Karen: Were you actually born yesterday? I don’t think so. You wrote this with the total intention of hurting the men who were your sexual lab rats. Even if you only intended the presentation with names and photos to only go to your friends (online) you were dissing all these guys to a minimum of three women.

They were the “top dogs” on campus as you described in your sex epistle. Admit it: You wanted to humiliate them or you wouldn’t have ever overshared this critique with your friends? It’s all very passive aggressive behavior, and your victims, “top dogs” or not, are still young men who are probably insecure and now will be far more so.

Your self-descbibed “f**k list” also reveals that you are clueless and careless about your future. Aside from the fact that any guy would have to be nuts to ever sleep with you — who is going to want hire you?

You’re beyond not trustworthy, you’re a gigantic blabber, you’re a backstabber, and you’ve revealed that you drink too much, and have absolutely no judgment. Male bosses will be terrified to hire you: What will you critique about them online? Women bosses won’t want to touch you with a ten-foot pole either for all the same reasons above. And there’s no feminist empowerment aspect to dissing a man’s lack of largesse between his legs, so you won’t get any help there.

So Karen Owen — I’m scratching my head head over who would ever take a chance of hiring you. Oh, I do have an idea.

The New York city public school system — may — accept you as a teacher if you just keep quiet for a few months. they just gave tenure to a woman who was a former prostitute and then boasted about it online.

–Bonnie Fuller