Exclusive! 'RHNY' Jill Zarin & Mom Of Allyson, 17, Blogs on: 'The Greatest Gift You Can Give Your Child'

Wed, October 6, 2010 2:13pm EST by 3 Comments

Hi HollyBaby readers: It’s Bonnie here, and I’m delighted to bring Real Housewives of New York‘s Jill Zarin, author of the terrific advice book,  Secrets of a Jewish Mother, to you. Here, Jill’s must-read child-raising advice!

Here’s what I know! The most important thing parents can do is communicate love to their child. Love makes up for a lot of personal flaws. It makes up for a parent who is busy, distracted, worried and forgetful. It compensates for a parent who is messy, is a lousy cook and comes late to parent-teacher night. Luckily, kids are resilient. They will forgive you again and again for your mistakes. The absence of love is the one thing that will cripple children, so make sure your children know you love them, every day and in as many ways as you can.

For example, my ex-husband Steven had a ritual of texting our daughter Ally every day to say hello and tell her he loved her. Then, he quit doing it, because he didn’t think she was reading them since she never responded. Well, it turned out that she had been reading his texts all along and she complained to me that he had stopped. I told him that he had to begin again. A  girl has to hear from her daddy every day.

Another example: my daughter called me up and asked me to come up to her college, outside of NYC and have dinner before I left on vacacation for two weeks with my husband Bobby. So I’m getting on a train tonight and taking her to dinner. She was missing her mommy and I was delighted to go and see her.

You can’t spoil a child with too much love. You can spoil them with too many material goods, but not love. And I believe you need to say “I love you”,  as well as show it. It’s not enough to go, Oh, I “show” my love … I pay my kids bills and drive them places. You need to say: “I love you”

You also need to be physically loving. Little children need constant affection. Children learn behavior very young. If you want them to be warm and physical when they grow up, you have to give them lots of hugs and kisses everyday!

Physical affection is very important! Humans need nurturing!

Remember: Make sure your children know you love them, everyday and in as many ways as you can.

– Jill Zarin

Click to buy Jill Zarin’s book Secrets of a Jewish Mother: Real Advice, Real Stories, Real Love

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Home Heating Systems

Posted at 12:12 PM on March 3, 2012  

I cant find a link where i can subscribe to this blog, webmaster how can i follow your blog?

Teddy Tschicke

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Malinda Gray

Posted at 3:27 AM on October 8, 2010  

Great advice! I’m not a mother but i am a proud aunty of 6 children all under the age of 5 (Three different siblings childrens!) and i feel that it is also my job to show how much they are loved.

Love you Jill!

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Posted at 1:48 PM on October 7, 2010  

I appreciate your words Jill, but I have to mention that I get mixed messages by the pictorial. I have a personal experience with the sugar factory ridiculous expensive lollipop treats. A couple of weeks ago my family and I were in Las Vegas. My daughter and one of her classmates joined us for a day trip to Las Vegas. My daughter wanted on of the speciality lollipop. Her friend who came along had previously purchased two of the lollipops when he visited with his family. He is one of my daughter’s more privileged friends. She raves about how he gets everything he wanted. I went in to purchase the lollipop. I learned that it was $25. I told my daughter there is no way in hell I am paying $25 for a lollipop. I have to admit Jill, my daughter is spoiled and pretty privileged but there was something seriously wrong about me paying $25 for a sucker. It made me feel like was the SUCKER. We walked out and I know my daughter was a bit sad about it. Much as I hate to admit it I rarely tell her no. Seeing you with your daughter holding the ridiculously priced lollipop kind of tugs at my heart because I know she really wanted one. I was truly tempted to buy it. But it was something about principal. Yes! My daughter knows exactly how much I love her. When comes home I am going to show her this blog post and ask her what does she think of the content and the picture. Jill you know times have really change. As parents we have to instill old school values in this new school society. Watching reality TV shows me how our world is truly changing. Only we as a group can undue the mess we all have made collectively.I haven’t read your book but I can see your mother has taught you old school values. Sometimes is good to RoCk the boaT Jill. Going along with crowd for the sake of being part of the crowd is something that should be examined.

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