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Bonnie Says: Ashton Kutcher – If You Cheated – You Didn’t Just Betray Demi – You Betrayed Her Three Daughters!

Thu, September 23, 2010 10:39am EDT by 14 Comments

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Did Ashton Kutcher give one moment of thought to the feelings of three girls who look up to him like a father, when he allegedly did the deed with 21-year-old Brittany Jones?

Jones isn’t just a Demi Moore lookalike who’s less than half her age, she’s also one year younger than Demi’s oldest daughter, Rumer, 22.

If the cheating accusations are true and Brittany Jones has sworn to Star magazine, for two weeks in a row, that Ashton took her back to his and Demi’s home and had sex with her on the family couch, then it’s also total invasion of their family privacy – physically and emotionally.

Demi’s daughters have known Ashton for at least seven years – since he met their mother – that’s a long time in young girls life. Even for Rumer, it’s a third of her life. During that time, Ashton has referred to Demi’s girls as his “daughters,” and they reportedly all call him, MOD “My Other Dad.”

He has always spoken so sweetly, lovingly and maturely about them, that it’s almost inconceivable that he could set out to hurt them. “There is not a human being I could love more than those girls and their mom,” he told Parade magazine in 2006. “I’ve been with my wife for seven years and we’ve had kids since the beginning – we take that really seriously,” he told Look magazine more recently.

Alleged lover, Brittany Jones, even has a text from Ashton, which she revealed in a Star magazine piece this week, in which he says he’s hanging out with “my daughter.” In a conversation with Jones, he supposedly told  Brittany he was  planning a trip to Israel, to see another of his “daughters.”

If the cheating allegations are true, how could he feel comfortable talking about ” his daughters” with his alleged  lover, who also resembled Demi so much, she could be her daughter?

If it feels creepy to me, how creepy would it feel to Rumer, Scout, 19, and Tallulah ,16, who trusted their surrogate father? Ashton was often seen giving them piggyback rides, and hanging out with them. He even said, “Sometimes I think the only reason I took math is so I could help my kids take math,” he wrote on his Twitter page.

If Ashton did cheat, shrinks tell me it could have a huge and long-term impact on Demi’s daughter. “It feels like an affront to the family, a violation to them,” explains Dr. Jenn Berman, author of The A to Z Guide to Raising Happy Confident Kids.

“It undermines their whole sense of security,” adds psychiatrist, Dr. Susan Abbott. I agree. I happen to have had  a father who cheated and it totally destroyed not just our family, but our whole secure world. My siblings and I  did feel horribly betrayed and as if every secure rug had been pulled out from under our feet. We were NEVER able to regain that security.

And what’s terrible on top of that  insecurity, is that a cheating father ” makes it hard for children to have a romantic relationship later on, because of the fear of betrayal,” points out psychiatrist, Dr. Carole Lieberman.

It’ll also be particularly hard on Rumer, who is 22. The fact that Ashton may have cheated with a woman, a year younger than herself has to make her HIGHLY uncomfortable. “Suddenly a taboo seems to have been broken. She’ll wonder: if Ashton could cheat on my mom with a girl my age, then he must be looking at me in a sexual way too,” says Dr. Lieberman. Creepy!

Ashton — I so hope this isn’t true. But if it is Demi shouldn’t  be denying it to her girls and saying it’s just “tabloid gossip”, says Dr. Lieberman. ” Because if it turns out that he did cheat, her children will have the added burden and disappointment of coping with a mother in denial.”  As for Ashton, if it’s true , you have to “apologize to your family and show remorse and take responsibility,” advises Dr. Susan Abbott. I’d say so!

The thing is, that a cheating episode doesn’t have to mean the end of your family Ashton. Couples do recover from cheating, if they get the right counseling.

But if the cheating is true, Demi, you can’t confide in your girls — all the shrinks agree. She needs to say: “This is between me and Ashton. At no point should a mother be confiding in her daughters about her spouses affair — that’s not appropriate,” emphasizes Dr. Berman.

In the meantime, I’m hoping it’s not true, despite alleged lover Brittany Jones sticking to her story and now turning out to be an alleged mega-party girl with nude photos, available to be seen on the internet. Oh my!

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–Bonnie Fuller