The eighth season premiere has the best ending ever. If you haven’t watched, don’t read on because I’m totally going to spoil it for you.
None of my friends believe me, but The CW’s One Tree Hill can be really good. At its best, it’s car crashes and school shootings and psycho murderers on prom night. The Sept. 14 season premiere comes vaguely close to that with a clever mixture of the show’s trademark romantic gobbledigook and the best twist ending ever!
Ready? OK, so for the entire hour we’re led to believe that Clay (Robert Buckley) only dreamt that he and Quinn (Shantel VanSanten) got shot, and it’s very disappointing. But in the last two minutes, they both start bleeding from their bullet wounds and we see that their bodies are definitely still laying in pools of blood at Clay’s house.
I’m also really into Brooke’s storyline. Her cougar mom (Daphne Zuniga) and assistant-turned-model-turned-president Millicent (Lisa Goldstein) lied to investors so now their whole company has lost its “integrity.” Sophia gives an Emmy-worthy speech about integrity that rivals her tirade about journalism ethics after the school shooting in season three:
Aside from all that, there’s way too much of 7 or 8 or 9-year-old Jamie — who I’m pretty sure has a mullet now. He has a bunch of awkward conversations with mom Haley (Bethany Joy Galeotti) about sex and it makes me miss the days when the kids were all slutty and… not parents.
Other things worth appreciating in the premiere:
- Brooke, who is physically unable to get pregnant but will undoubtedly conceive before the series finale, calls Haley, who announces that she’s pregnant with her second child, a “selfish baby-haver.” I chuckled.
- Brooke throws Millicent’s several-episode cocaine addiction back in her face in a hilarious manner. (“Hey, that’s not fair,” Millicent shrugs.)
- Nathan tells Jamie not to say “retarded.” It’s a really nice thing for the writers to put in there. I’m sure Jennifer Aniston would disagree.
- It’s nice to see Stephen Colletti has finally moved on from Lauren Conrad.
- And finally… Julian, as a way to make Brooke fertile, offers to “romance her ovaries.”
What did YOU think of the season premiere? Am I over-hyping it, or am I dead-on?
— Andy Swift
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