Mel’s Rage-Filled Text Messages To Oksana Have Surfaced — And Experts Say He’s Abusive No Matter How Much She Antagonized Him!

Mon, August 2, 2010 8:13pm EDT by 3 Comments

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Two new reports claim that Mel Gibson was abusive towards his son and ex-wife, Robyn, and he sent threatening texts to Oksana — reiterating many of YOUR opinions that his actions are abusive and unforgivable

An unlikely Mel Gibson ally surfaced last week when one HollywoodLife.com reader, Karen, reached out to me, explaining that as a former victim of domestic abuse, she found Mel Gibson’s estranged girlfriend, Oksana Grigorieva, to be in the wrong. However, as more and more evidence against Mel comes out in the open — including angry text messages to baby mama Oksana Grigorieva — many of you actively disagree with Karen and say no one ever has an excuse to harm another person….no matter how much Oksana pushed Mel’s buttons.

Karen said she was frustrated because Oksana only spoke about a singular incident in January when Mel allegedly punched her in the head, saying “an abuser doesn’t do it once and stop.” However, two experts say that when you combine Mel’s rage-filled phone rants with the angry texts messages released Aug. 2, it’s proof that abuse can come in any form.

“Abuse is generally not one incident—however, it could be one type of incident, like physical violence. Then, the abuser can use sexual, verbal, financial, or technological violence as tools of power and control,” Chaitra Shenoy, the Policy and Technical Assistance Attorney at Break the Cycle, the leading, national nonprofit working to end teen dating violence, tells HollywoodLife.com. “Your commenter makes it a point to show that he has never abused someone else before, however, we don’t know that.”

Dr. CarolAnn Peterson, an adjunct associate professor at the USC School of Social Work agrees, and adds that just because Mel, 54, is still allowed to visit their eight-month-old daughter, Lucia, it doesn’t mean he’s not abusive.

“Many abusers never hit their victims, they use other forms of abuse – name calling (which Mel has done), financial abuse, intimidation and pointing loaded guns at victims but never pulling the trigger (this is abuse),” Dr. Peterson explains. “And just because Mel received visitation rights, doesn’t mean he’s not abusive. Many father’s have visitation rights, even if their former wife or girlfriend has a restraining order.”

Mel exhibits other characteristics of an abusive person by consistently blaming Oksana, 40, for all of his anger and rage, Dr. Peterson points out.

“Abusers don’t view their partners as partners, they view their partners are possessions…something they own,” she tells me. “In my opinion Mel comes across as someone who believes he owns Oksana. Also, abusers never believe they have a problem; it’s always the
victim’s fault….in this case, Mel continually blames Oksana, including for the alleged incident of where he hit her and knocked out two of her teeth.”

To prove her point, our angry reader, Karen, also says that Oksana didn’t report Mel’s abuse for six months, which seems suspect. However, both experts say many abused women are too scared to speak out against their abuser.

“Each survivor is different. There are survivors that take months, even years to share the abuse they faced,” Chenoy explains. “It doesn’t mean that the abuse didn’t happen or they should not be believed.”

Adds Dr. Peterson, “Most people, including formerly battered women [like your reader, Karen], are quick to blame the victim. But the real question is why men batter and why we as a society don’t hold them accountable….even for one incident.”

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