After watching The Bachelor Breakup it’s so clear now that Vienna was clearly in a relationship with an emotional abuser – Jake!
I couldn’t tear myself away from watching The Bachelor Breakup special, which aired last night and 7 million others who tuned in, had to have felt exactly the same way. Talk about must-see TV. It was gripping. But what was most gripping of all was watching Jake Pavelka unmask himself as a cold, controlling emotional abuser.
He sat through the entire 30 plus minutes interview with a smug, smirk on his face, while Vienna dissolved in tears repeatedly. His message was clear — Jake was trying to tell us that he was the sane, normal, in control partner in the relationship while Vienna Girardi was the crazy, emasculating, emotional, lying, cheating, needy, selfish, oh and lazy woman, he made the mistake of proposing to.
He repeatedly barked at Vienna to stop interrupting him during the interview. “Be quiet. while I’m talking,” he ordered his former fiancee, while emphasizing this order with a series of karate chops in the air. He complained repeatedly to interviewer Chris Harrison, that Vienna was guilty of always interrupting him — “Stop, interrupting me,” he shouted at one point.
What Jake didn’t say out loud but demonstrated with his “interruption” obsession and more, was that he wanted to “control” Vienna in their relationship. And when he couldn’t control every aspect of her behavior — he withdrew from her, withheld sex and insulted her.
“What guy in America would want to be intimate with a woman who undermines and emasculates them,” he replied in response to Vienna’s revelations that he stopped having sex with her after a month of being together. “She breaks me down, she undermines me, she’s mean, she’s always right, I never do anything right,” he whined . It drove him crazy that she wanted to discuss how to re-arrange their bedroom after he had already measured it all out — whoa! Jake — are we crazy controlling or what?
Jake let us see that he’s a man who #1 doesn’t like a woman interrupting him, #2 withholds sex as punishment for not being his version of perfect and #3 belittles his lovers’ emotions. When Vienna insisted that she tried to break-up with him twice before the final split — he described the situation as “she’d throw little temper tantrums” and “sulk in the bathroom.”
He also dropped this one jaw-dropping bomb– there’s more to a relationship than “sex and intimacy… those are just two little things.” Uh really!? Intimacy can only be a “little thing” to a man who doesn’t want to be intimate — and that’s abusive behavior when you have a fiance ewho claims she wants a normally affectionate and communicative relationship — like EVERY woman on the planet would want.
Vienna’s litany of Jake gripes boiled down to two big beefs — #1- once the magic first month was over, Jake stopped talking to her and #2 -he stopped having sex and even kissing her. Jake however, had an endless list of self-esteem destroying disses about Vienna. Aside, from the interrupting and emasculating that she was guilty of – she was also selfish. “It’s me, me, me,” he said. Also, “your dog is spoiled,” and ”baby, we’ll get to your lying issues in a minute,” he needled. Jake is one of those guys who like to use intimate terms when delivering a whopper of an emotional slap across the face.
No wonder, Vienna took the $90,000 she was supposedly by paid by Star magazine for her tell-all interview . She knew the only way to get back at this abuser was to tell her side of the story, without interruption, and in the public eye, where she was guaranteed to finally get his attention.
Ha! Vienna — you achieved your goals and Jake came off like the cold, controlling, emotional abuser he truly is!