Angie — there’s a very strange photo of you in the new August issue of Vanity Fair, on page 117!
It looks like you’ve had a head transplant — there’s a weird, dark line along the top of your collarbone that makes it look like your neck is a tree-trunk that’s been plunked down on top of your chest.
Now, after staring and staring at it, I think I’ve figured out what’s going on with Brad’s best girl, and the star of the upcoming action thriller, Salt!
Angie’s just too, too thin! So thin that her breast-bones are shadowing through on her upper chest, her collarbone is unusually prominent and her tendons are strutting unnaturally out of her super thin neck!
All of this combines to create the bizarre “head transplant” effect!
Angie — you need to EAT something! Vanity Fair writer, Rich Cohen, even says in the piece that your “head is alien also, too big for her body, for her narrow shoulders and skinny waist — alien in that big-headed Martian way…”
He also points out that when you met him for lunch, Angie — you “picked” at it. Clearly, you need to be doing more devouring and less picking!
Now, remember Hollywoodlifers, when Angie, 35, had that weird pulling thing on the side of her neck and face, earlier this year? Doctors consulted at the time thought that also might be the result of Angie having not enough body fat !
So the diagnosis is clear — Angie, you’d be even more beautiful if you packed on a few bone-covering pounds!
Do you agree BFFs?