'True Blood' Recap: The Werewolves Have Arrived — And Died!

Mon, June 21, 2010 1:35pm EST by 1 Comment
Courtesy of HBO

Courtesy of HBO

This week’s episode is heavy on the wolves, vampires, and shape shifters — oh my!

It is time for Sookie Stackhouse (Anna Paquin) to pack up her bags and leave. Her boyfriend is missing, she was almost murdered by a maenad, and now the werewolves are after her. Anywhere, and we mean ANYWHERE, is better than Bon Temps hun.

Sookie is of course still on the case of locating possible fiancee Bill (Stephen Moyer) with the aid of the much, much better looking Eric (Alexander Skarsgard). A brief aside, would anyone pick someone over Eric. I mean the suspension of disbelief that Sookie would just repeatedly turn down his aggressive advances is wearing very, very thin. Back to the task at hand, Eric it seems knows a bit about werewolves (cue flashback scene and the return of Godric, swoon) and has offered to take care of Sookie as said werewolves seem to want to murder her. As do most people for some reason.

Tara (Rutina Wesley) meanwhile decides to check out by taking a bottle full of pills and, like most tasks she takes on, fails. Lafayette (Nelsan Ellis) busts through the door and decides the best way to snap Tara out of her funk is by taking her to see his crazy, and delightfully racist, mother (Alfre Woodard). This in turn seems to snap Lafayette out of his funk as he makes googly eyes with mom’s nurse Jesus (Kevin Alejandro).

Her life now saved Tara quickly goes and makes another horrible decision by getting to know new pale faced vampire Franklin (James Frain). Between Eggs (Mehcad Brooks), Sam (Sam Trammell), and now Franklin it is becoming abundantly clear Tara does not have a type.

Speaking of Sam, he has located his family. They are poor white trash and seem to not enjoy paying bills. Also, he has a brother who is kind of a giant dick. Family, can’t pick ‘em and maybe you shouldn’t try and find ‘em.

Finally there’s good old Billy boy. He is killing werewolves and taking names when the Vampire King (Denis O’Hare) moseys on up on a white horse. Subtle. Turns out he hired the werewolves to bring Bill to him cause he has a job opportunity for Bill to become the new sheriff. The phone seemed too impersonal one assumes.

Bill also gets a fun stay at the palatial plantation of the king and his lover Talbot (Theo Alexander) who really, really likes antiques belonging to former serial killers and blood sorbet. Also staying, Bill’s maker Lorena (Mariana Klaveno), who Bill greets by throwing a lantern at and setting to fire. A handshake seemed to impersonal.

Oh, and the king also wants to marry the Vampire Queen (Evan Rachel Wood) to unite Mississippi and Louisiana which seems like something the ruler of Mississippi would want to do. Louisiana, we assume, is holding out.

That’s pretty much it we think. Oh, no. Jessica (Deborah Ann Woll). She’s rented a chainsaw and decided to finally take care of that rapidly decaying body in her floorboards/basement/crawlspace. Only when she goes out to rent one creepy Franklin breaks in, goes through Bill’s stuff (old clippings of Sookie, weird), and disposes of the body somewhere. Some girls get all the breaks!

What did you think of last night’s episode HollywoodLifers?

-Chris Spargo

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Jennifer Murray

Posted at 3:36 PM on June 21, 2010  

Your post is HILARIOUS Chris Spargo — you are a genius

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