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TELL US! If You Cheat on Your Guy (Like a Certain 'Sex & the City' Character Does), Should You Tell Him or Not?

Fri, May 28, 2010 11:00am EDT by HL Intern Add first Comment


There’s a big betrayal in Sex and the City 2, and so we asked some experts: If you cheat on someone, should you tell them!?

As you may have seen in the previews, Aidan’s back in Sex and the City 2, and his re-emergence raises some tough questions for Carrie Bradshaw [Sarah Jessica Parker] — and it started a pretty hot debate right here at

“In most cases, you should tell your partner if you have cheated on them,” says Dr. Carole Lieberman, media psychiatrist. “Otherwise, the guilt, and fear of being found out, haunts you and eats away at the relationship. If you and your partner are deeply in love, then telling the truth about your cheating, and exploring together how this came about, could strengthen the relationship.”

Next question: Should you tell someone you cheated on them if you want to stay together, or if you want to break up, or either way?

“If it’s happening in the present and it’s ongoing, you should let your partner know.  But, if it’s in the past and you’re not going to see the person you cheated with, you shouldn’t tell them,” advises Rhonda Findling, psychotherapist and author of Don’t Call That Man!: A Survival Guide to Letting Go.

What are the chances of the relationship working if one person has cheated?

“It’s probably 50/50.  I don’t have statistics or a study; it’s just an observation, but whether it’s politicians, actors, whatever, for how many we have seen blown up, we’ve also seen just as many work it out,” says Amy Levine, sex and relationship expert.

One thing we all agree on is every relationship and circumstance is different.  Watch our video to hear our debate, and tell us what YOU think: Would you confess to being a cheater?

– Catherine Doyle and Courteney Palis

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