Great News Jon! We Heard You Wanted A 9 To 5 So We Went On Craigslist And Found You Some Options!

Fri, May 21, 2010 3:02pm EST by 2 Comments



It’s a tough job market Jon, and we know you have your hands full wooing much younger women, so we did the leg work for you! Here are some jobs we think you’d be GREAT for!

Hey Jon, we are really excited you are finally ready to reenter the job market and we wanted to help you out by searching for some jobs for you! They’re all in Reading near the kids and we made sure they are all in your skill set. Take a peek but be warned, we’re not filling out your resume for you!

It is your lucky day Jon! We know how much you love the twenty something ladies, and you know what those ladies like after a long work week? Heading on down to the local TGI Friday’s! And great news, they are hiring bartenders! Think of all the money you can save and all the girls you can woo with free drinks! Just don’t embarass us by going out for too many cigarette breaks – we’re vouching for you here!

The only thing you seem to like more than those Ed Hardy tee-shirts Jon is that cell phone of yours. You always seem to be on the thing. Well, why not get paid to talk! A local real estate firm is hiring a receptionist! As an added bonus maybe you can use their listings to find a safer apartment!

We are sure you are spending a boatload of cash on fine jewels for those ladies of yours so why not go for an employee discount and get a job at Zales! They just happen to be looking for a retail manager! We know you don’t really have the requisite 3 years of retail experience but we have no doubt you’ll win them over regardless.

Remember that custody suit you filed and all that time you spent in court earlier this year. Well you must have learned something about the law, so how about a new gig as a legal assistant! They are hiring one in Camden which, we know, is a bit of a drive from Reading but it could be a great opportunity. We can totally see you as the male Erin Brockovich.

You have always had a unique sense of style Jon so why not a job at an online fashion mag? They are looking for writers! Mastering the whole internet coding may seem a bit tough at first — trust us, we’ve been there — but this could be the beginning of something great for you!

So let us know how it goes Jon or if you need a recommendation or anything. If nothing works out maybe we can talk about going halfsies on an Ed Hardy store out there. Maybe.

-Chris Spargo

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Posted at 2:19 PM on May 23, 2010  

Legal assistants (paralegals)usually need a 4-year college degree as well as a “Certificate” from a paralegal program. Jon is not a college graduate. I think he should go back to school and get a degree.

Being out of the IT field for 5 years… well, it may as well be 5 centuries. Technology careers require you to keep updating your skills. He needs some career counseling/intervention pronto.

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Posted at 3:10 PM on May 21, 2010  

I’m not going to make fun of him for finally getting his head straight and realizing he has to take responsibility for supporting his family and being a good role model for the kids he chose to create. I hope it works out for him.

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