Elin, Don't Rip Your Kids Away From Tiger By Moving To Sweden — It's A Bad Idea!

Tue, April 27, 2010 9:17am EDT by 76 Comments
Getty Images, INFphoto.com

Getty Images, INFphoto.com

Elin — It’s one thing to take little Sam, 2, and Charlie, 1, for a weeks-long summer vacation to Sweden — but trying to move there permanently is a terrible idea! Here’s why!

Apparently, Elin  your plan is to return to your homeland with your children – for good, according to RadarOnline.com. You want to divorce Tiger and leave Florida behind, for good.

Yes, Elin you may be furious with Tiger and disappointed with his efforts to turn around his behavior as a husband and father, but if you try to force Tiger to let you and the kids return full-time to Sweden you’ll only hurt all of you!

Legally — you won’t have a leg to stand on and emotionally you will be doing serious damage to Sam and Charlie.

Virtually every psychologist I consulted thought it was a bad idea to permanently put such a large physical distance between your children and their dad.

Elin — you have to remember that even though Tiger cheated outrageously and he may not be the best father in the world, it’s still better for your kids to have a dad in their lives versus no dad.

“I always believe that unless a father is abusive it’s always best for children to have both parents in their lives — and in this case, I don’t even think Elin should take them away on a vacation for too long. Tiger was already away in sex rehab  for 45 days– they should see their father,” LA psychologist Jenn Berman, and author of the A to Z Guide to Raising Happy, Confident Kids, tells me.

It’s incredibly important for children to have both parents to attach to, to spend time with and to get love from. The parents are the foundation for a child’s sense of safety and security,” she points out.

You know Elin, she makes a really good point. Tiger may have been a bad husband but he hasn’t been an abusive father. Take it from someone who grew up as a child of divorce — as a child you do want to see your dad. Having him thousands of miles away, as a virtual stranger, only makes a kid feel abandoned.

“At some point — if Elin takes Sam and Charlie away to Sweden — they will ask her — ‘why did you take me away from daddy?’ and she will appear to be the bad guy, points out Dr. Berman.

No doubt with the current obsession with Tiger’s every move and every mistress, Elin feels she and her children will ALWAYS live under a microsope. I can understand why you want to hide out in Sweden. But I guaranteeyou,  that this too will pass.

If you get divorced Elin, and Tiger reverts to his bad boy behavior — it won’t matter. It won’t be big news — he’ll be single and you and your children will be of less and less interest.

“The children have a right to have access to both their parents and typically kids want that,” agrees couple and family psychologist Dr. John Northman. Dr. Northman doesn’t even think  Elin that you should give up on your marriage yet — unless you and Tiger have already tried working hard with a third party trained counselor who can help you both understand what has happened. “I see people all the time where there are multiple infidelities and marriages can survive that, if there are positives to staying together. Marriage isn’t perfect,” he believes.

Well, I understand if that is just too hard to swallow, but you ultimately must do what’s in the best interests of your children.

I believe that even if you get Tiger to agree to moving your children away, they will NOT thank you for it. They will feel as if their dad, Tiger rejected them. It’s not logical maybe, but again as a child of divorce I can tell you — that emotions overrule logic and when little Sam and Charlie get older, they will feel as if their dad didn’t fight for them — as if they weren’t worth fighting for. Their self-esteem will be damaged.

Finally — if you are considering going to battle against Tiger to take your children to Sweden permanently, you need to face reality — you have almost no HOPE of pulling that off legally!

“It’s not going to happen,” says Florida attorney Chris Mancini without a moments hesitation. If Elin tried to take her children out of the country without Tiger’s permission, he could get an emergency court order to prevent her from getting on a plane, he says. Even if she’s in Sweden and refuses to bring them back, a Swedish court will eventually look at her case, deny her request for a custody order and send the custody decision back to the U.S. courts. “If she refuses, the Swedish court will issue an order and the police will t ake the children and escort them back to the U.S., he says.

Mancini — even says that the Florida courts will not allow Tiger and Elin to divide their children’s time between the U.S. and Sweden, in any unreasonable manner.

‘They can’t be allowed to shuttle the kids back and forth. They must provide a stable home environment or the courts will intervene. Tiger and Elin will have to prepare a comprehensive “parenting plan, as part of their divorce and they will have to honor it,” explains Mancini.

So Elin, no matter how badly Tiger cheated on you, legally he wasn’t a bad dad and you can’t punish him by taking away his kids. I don’t advise it on a personal level and the Florida courts won’t allow it!

Sorry Elin, it’s time for you too suck it up and to focus on the best interests of Sam and Charlie! I hope you do!

-Bonnie Fuller

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ThinkerBelle

Posted at 9:28 PM on April 27, 2010  

WithOUT! a condom! Uh-oh

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ThinkerBelle

Posted at 9:27 PM on April 27, 2010  

Do you think it’s possible that Elin can find a loving partner?

If yes, could that loving partner also be a loving parent?

What is wrong with those two children having three loving parents.

(in Sweden)
(or anywhere else it pleases Elin to take her new life)

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anonymous

Posted at 3:00 PM on April 28, 2010  

no, absolutely not, until she gets some extensive psychological help. elin is as sick as tiger was, and it is clear in her behavior in the last 5 months and now. elin is not well and healthy at all. the kids are the ones who are and will suffer around her.

she will never find a healthy man, until she is healthy herself. i am so so glad tiger got help and wont be with her, as he is leaving her in the dust of her sickness, rage and toxic anger.

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Lakawak

Posted at 8:45 PM on April 27, 2010  

By the way…he absolutely WAS a bad dad. I cannot believe this was written by a woman! With this attitude,m I an only expect that Bonnie Fuller will have men alk all over her her entire life. Tiger didn’t just leave Elin to have sex with skanks…he left HIS CHILDREN! Imaginetheir standpoint. During hte golf season, they don’t get to see their daddy too often. So one time when daddy has some free time, they ask him if he can play with them. HE says no saying he has some work to do…LYING TO THEM so he can go bang a porn star without a condom (thus putting ALL their health in danger)…Yes…that is a bad father. And a bad human being.

Bonnie..I hope you have no plans on having a successful, healthy relationship. Becuase you will not have one ever.

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Anna

Posted at 11:45 PM on April 27, 2010  

You are absolutely right! He didn’t just cheat on Elin, he disrespected his children and left them as well. Not to mention, Tiger cheated on Elin while she was pregnant….what a PIG. Now, tell me that’s not a bad father. I’m sure his children will disagree when they learn about that when they get older. I hope Elin leaves Tiger, and she meets a good man and they live happily ever after with her children….and Tiger’s money! LOL!

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Dr. Harrington

Posted at 12:48 AM on April 28, 2010  

This article really seems to be more about Bonnie’s own emotional feelings from her own parent’s divorce as there is quite a bit of judgment and transference toward Elin.
Any person who is suffering from out of control compulsive behaviors, or sexual addiction, may often not be able to fully be there for their children and certainly not a positive role model. In summary, Tiger chose time and time again, to put himself before his kids. This author needs to understand that it is the quality of the people around the children that makes the children feel secure and loved.That can come from many sources – loving mother (they have one), grandparents, community, friends, and of course (if the do divorce) perhaps a stable and loving stepfather who has his priorities straight. Not impressed at all with the author’s take on this. Too rigid in her thinking of what makes up a healthy and stable family environment.
And perhaps in need of some deeper understanding of her own emotional projection that was revealed in this article.

 
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Rita

Posted at 4:51 PM on April 28, 2010  

Yes you hit the nail on the head with Tigers money. Yes cheating is bad not being faithful, not keeping it in his pants but that is Tiger and Elin, not the kids and Tiger, at this point. Their too young to understand that kinda hurt. Their not ready to call him a dirty dog you cheated on mommie. Heck I am sure he was a great father when he was around his kids. NOw Charlie sheen is a meanie and you never hear about him. He cheats and beats you up.

 
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Tony

Posted at 1:52 AM on April 28, 2010  

your too emotional honey. The law protects his parental rights, regardless of what he did.

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Kathy

Posted at 10:46 AM on April 28, 2010  

You’re right. My ex illegally retained (against my will) our children in Sweden. I had to go to court through the Hague Convention Treaty, signed by Sweden and the U.S. among others, to get them back. Thank God and the Hague Convention Treaty.

 
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anonymous

Posted at 3:02 PM on April 28, 2010  

tiger has and is a great dad. whatever he did was when he was away on tour. what tiger did was wrong, and he was sick. he has gotten, and is getting help for his sex addiction. elin is not getting help for her mental sickness, so she is going around with it. it is coming out in serious rage, anger and acting out. hopefully, she will get help, for the kids sake, if not her own., before it hurts the kids anymore. tiger is moving on, which is best for him.

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Janet

Posted at 2:12 PM on April 29, 2010  

I think Tiger gave up his rights to demand anything. Elin has said his mother will have complete access to the children so I don’t think she’s going to prevent him from spending time with the kids. He led a reckless life and did have women in their home in Florida. There is no evidence that suggests he has completely given up that life style. Therapy isn’t 100% guaranteed. There’s nothing wrong with her putting some space between her, the kids and Tiger until she is convinced that lifestyle has stopped.

 
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REALISTIC

Posted at 3:20 PM on April 29, 2010  

We need to focus more on our own family and leave Tiger & Elin alone. They didn’t need our permission or advice before and they don’t need it now. Can we just leave them alone to focus on their family and well-being. I wish all them well…in whatever they decide to do. I wish the same for all those who post here as well.

 
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Are you serious?

Posted at 8:13 PM on April 27, 2010  

You are acting like Tiger is not the first billionaire athlete of all time. My cousin is a divorced child and she spends the entire summer with her father. Divorcees are not bound by law to live in the same area.

Then you talked about how she won’t have a leg to stand on legally, and then don’t elaborate.

Tiger has not one but many private jets. He’s a NetJets customer. He can visit Sweden whenever he wants, plus he will have be allowed his own visitation.

You act as if Tiger Woods is a 9-5 dad. He’s always traveling and always practicing, this is how he was able to keep this hidden lifestyle.

You really have no idea what you are talking about.

Divorcees are legally allowed to win custody and move to another area if need be. They are not bound to live in the vicinity of said ex-spouse. Furthermore, her moving to Sweden does not mean Tiger will lose visitation rights. He will still see his kids.

So how wil those kids think he abandoned him? This article really doesn’t make any sense.

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BG

Posted at 2:53 PM on April 28, 2010  

Actually, Are you serious?, she did elaborate on the legal side, if you read all the way to the end of the article.

Just sayin’.

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Alara

Posted at 7:39 PM on April 27, 2010  

This is total crap! Tiger woods is supposed to be a good influence on his kids? What a joke – they’ll always know he was the pig who had sex with anything that had a heartbeat, and made their mother miserable.
Tiger can fly to Sweden on his jet in probably an hour – Sweden isn’t really that far away. If Elin is happy, her kids will be happy. She should go as far away from his as she bloody well likes, and the kids obviously should stay with her, no matter what country she lives in. Should she be sentenced to live a life in a country where there’s paparrazzi everywhere, and she never gets a break from all the smut that her so-called husband has been up to?

And Mr. Obgyn – just because a kids biological father isn’t in their lives every single day, doesn’t mean they grow up any worse than other kids. There are lots of men out there who would probably love Elin AND her kids. Kids need healthy role models, She’s not playing games with the kids, I’m sure she wants her life back to normal, like how it was before her husband was a dawg. She should take the kids and go where ever the hell she wants to.
If the kids are important, he’ll go wherever they are – if they’re not, he’ll come up with a lame-ass excuse such as the one you’ve suggested – ” when the kids become adults if they want to see me they can” . That’s the epitomy of male cop-out if I’ve ever heard one.

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obgyn

Posted at 3:36 PM on April 27, 2010  

Elin is exactly why men get fed up with women using children as a Bank and a Pawn. You do not punish a man by removing his children, you punish the children. Tiger can not be an effective parent jumping on a plane going that far once a month or two. This is the kind of thing that will make a man walk away and say “when the kids become adults if they want to see me they can”

If Tiger were to re-marry and his second wife have kids and he is really involved as a parent, Elin will think he cared more about his second set of kids and it will be her fault if her kids feel the same.

She married for money and she should divorce with dignity and stop playing games with the kids.

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Josette

Posted at 3:04 PM on April 27, 2010  

Elin go to Sweden with your children…Tiger makes enough money where he can go visit anytime..Elin needs to move on with out every one watching her..The children will know both their parents..If it is ment for them to be together they can do it away from camera’s..Tiger needs to learn everything doesn’t go his way..Tiger I like you as a golfer but parenting you need them to be with Elin..I am sure you will work something out where you get them on holidays and when you aren’t playing golf.. Should Elin want to take them or let them go watch you. You & she will work it out..

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KarenM

Posted at 2:41 PM on April 27, 2010  

I disagree. Narcissistic or sociopathic fathers, like Tiger or James, are not necessarily great role models for their children. The narcissistic behavior will definitely get in the way of true parent/child bonding… and the children will still wonder what is wrong with themselves.

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mimi

Posted at 11:59 AM on April 27, 2010  

okay , remember each case is different….? you say that Elin should suck up???? ….no no she took the children away to save them….just to think the children with Tiger and his ho” s we saw coming out on tv, are you out of your mind??????and it it garantee that this will pass , come on now …do not be naive about that, sweden is not far away, if Tiger wants to be with them he can fly there fast in his jet……Tiger was not there for them before – you really think he would be there now????

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candi

Posted at 10:46 AM on April 27, 2010  

I don’t blame her for wanting to move back to sweden. Tiger should have kept it in his pants and not cheated on his wife and humilated her in front of the entire world. Of course she would want to be near her family to help her with her kids, it’s not as if tiger would see them if they lived in the usa all the time either he flies all over the world palying golf for a living & can afford to take a plane ride to see them probably whenever he wanted to.

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Godwin

Posted at 10:12 AM on April 27, 2010  

I think this Tiger story by now suppose to have been an history of the past,Why are people trying to put assunder into what God has joined together?Elin if you are a christain i don’t know,but i want you to reflect to the bible days of Adam and Eve,they were happily leaving together as one, until the serpent came into their life as the third person to deceived them,Please and please and please Elin,for the sake of your beautiful kids and the honour you have as a married woman,give a deaf ear to any third party advicing you to divorce your husband,don’t be surprised this so call advicers maybe be jealous of your marriage and they see this time as a target to penetrate and scatter your family. To err is humane and to forgive is divine,if really you do loved your kids,this is their future we are talking about. Am a child of divorce, and i must tell is a curse to be one which i won’t advice any parent to cause their kids.I wish you and your husband a new happy and understandable beggining.GOD BLESS YOU FOR YOUR UNDERSTANDING. Please read proverb, chapter 20 verse 24.

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Oli

Posted at 12:09 PM on April 29, 2010  

Godwin, God does frown on divorce. In only cases of infidelity, though then it’s OK. She is the head and not the tail, she is above and not beneath. She is not his mat for him to wipe his feet on. He was blessed with a talent to be able to make tons of money, as well as a beautiful wife and kids. He will have to answer to God with what he did with it. “He” threw it away.

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box211

Posted at 9:54 AM on April 27, 2010  

Oh, yes, Elin, listen to these fools and stick around for more abuse (as if abuse is good for you and your children).

Do not let others tell you how to proceed. You know the situation and they do not. Your children will not benefit by learning from a guy who cannot even direct his own behavior. He will steer them in the same direction, into the ditch. Just follow love and honesty. But, you already know that…

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Godwin

Posted at 10:18 AM on April 27, 2010  

Advicer, i know you are a saint and 100% perfect in all your doings.But stop misadvicing marriage if you don’t know what to say,because the greatest curse on earth is to put assunder into the handiwork of God almaighty.God said he who finds a wife,findeth a good thing and obtaineth favor from God.It might als turn a curse upon whosoever that will allow satan to use him/her to broke any marriage.Be warn and be careful in this matter.

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mimi

Posted at 1:19 PM on April 27, 2010  

So well said box211, ……

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Jyll

Posted at 6:41 AM on April 27, 2010  

When straying or drug-addicted “stars” require a publicity boost, it is the habit that they check into rehab (whatever that *really* means) and then come out smiling, as though from accomplishment, probably having not changed a cell in their being, IMO. I don’t think it makes much difference *where* Elin Woods lives (in fact she ought to be in close proximity to her family) as Tiger Woods is often in absentia, for a large part of the year. So, let him take a plane when the urge to visit his children strikes him (which I suspect won’t be often). Do you expect her to hang in like a dog on a leash, simply because that’s the way he’s chosen to treat her, so far?!

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Elin Deserves Happiness

Posted at 6:21 AM on April 27, 2010  

I disagree w/ the article. Many parents share custody and only see their children when they have custody. Plus w/ video conferencing, parents can be face to face with children. It would hurt the children more to have a depressed mother who is away from her support system and who has to watch their father ‘s disgusting behavior from close range. Many children spend half the year with one parent or the other. Children are only hurt if the parents don’t reassure the children that the absences have nothing to do with their lovability and that they still have two parents who will look out for them. Elin needs to put on her own oxygen mask first in order to take care of her children. She needs to be with her own people.

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Elin Deserves Happiness

Posted at 6:25 AM on April 27, 2010  

By the way, I meant own people meaning family and friends, nothing to do with race in case anyone misunderstands (but definitely in a different and better class than the social circle Tiger travels in).

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Palina Gunnmarsdottir

Posted at 6:12 AM on April 27, 2010  

What is wrong with this “Bonnie-woman”? Few days ago she wanted Elin to take the kids to Sweden now she tells her not to go. Can you trust a person like her.
I´ll tell you one thing, Elin´s life has not been very good the last years. Give her time to think things over and tries to find out what is best for her and the children in the future.

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mimi

Posted at 1:20 PM on April 27, 2010  

jes I am wondering too with Bonnie????????

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omie

Posted at 12:33 AM on April 27, 2010  

its sad that elin has no faith.she needs jesus in her marriege.Any thing she does seems to go wrong,only if she belives in god,will things be okey in marriege.put godfirst and tiger second.

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Jyll

Posted at 6:45 AM on April 27, 2010  

Yes, that’s why there is more than a 50% divorce rate. If Jesus happened to be preoccupied with saving people’s marriages, he would have stopped Tiger Woods from dipping his wick into nearly anything that moves. What a ridiculous comment.

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KarenM

Posted at 2:44 PM on April 27, 2010  

Not just ridiculous, but practically inarticulate.

 
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msfaye

Posted at 11:59 PM on April 26, 2010  

i always say out of sight out of mind move to sweden and then she will be complaining he spends no time with the kids, doesn’t call, he may call on birthdays and holidays and thats it. he’ll just start a life without them and then they will be using up his time he started his new life with. but 500 for 5 years marriage ridiculous. he will never get married again if he has to shell out that kind of cash. but it serves him right arm candy cost.

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Sheenagh

Posted at 10:22 PM on April 26, 2010  

Elin is getting the best advise for her children and herself legally from her lawyers. That is the only people she should be listening to. Neither Tiger or Elin will ever want those children hurt. Elin stated that she was going on vacation [her house is no where near done] with her family.

I don’t believe the above story and believe it is 80% made up to make headlines. Stupid. Let these two people alone. Divorce, if they are getting one, is hard enought without it being so public. We do not know all the facts. The children are American citizens and Elin loves America. There is nothing wrong with living in one country and having a vacation home in another. She never would take the children from Tiger as he is a good father [when ever he was with them for the off 15 minutes]. The only reason people are now siding with Tiger is because once he starts winning golf torn. again, they want to be on his good side.

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Village

Posted at 10:11 PM on April 26, 2010  

You are assuming Tiger wants to see the children on a daily basis. He has golf to practice: tournaments to play. There are only so many majors left in his career, and he is already 35, although he acts like a juvenile.

His interest in the children may only extend to when golf takes a break, basically Thanksgiving to February. He may want his children every Thanksgiving, every Christmas, every birthday, every holiday that will cause the most pain to Elin. Otherwise, he needs to be on the course, or on the strange.

While his son’s birthday falls in that off window, in January, his daughter’s falls in June, and he has missed her birthday at least once for a major, the U.S. Open.

If you father is a sociopath, it may not be in your best interest to spend all that much time with him.

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Holly

Posted at 10:10 PM on April 26, 2010  

I am a child of divorce as well. And yes it does hurt when you don’t get to see your dad. But it can work out. Besides he wasn’t around anyway. And I’m sorry if anyone blames elin for this, but your stupid. How is she to blame at all. She had so much trust and love for him, that it’s her fault. Are you kidding. I’m sorry she does deserve this money. He has humiliated her enough. And besides has anyone noticed she hasn’t said one word. And everyone is saying all this bad stuff about her. Well leave her alone. This is honestly all her business anyways. She has a right to do whatever she wants.

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ThinkerBelle

Posted at 9:36 PM on April 26, 2010  

“…a Swedish court will eventually look at her case, deny her request for a custody order and send the custody decision back to the U.S. courts.”

How accurate is the above statement?
How many days months or years does ‘eventually’ mean?
What citizenship does Elin hold?
Why would Elin even apply for custody, she HAS custody?
Couldn’t an adequate male role model replace an inadequate biological father?

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Geo Wilson

Posted at 9:30 PM on April 26, 2010  

Sure, everyone give advise. Most of you want Woods back playing and winning championships, regardless of his misdeeds. So, give advise to the woman that has to put up with all that BS. This is basically the this weak-minded society works; we need our pop-icons, so please forgive them of anything they do and do not make life hard on them. . . The Steelers QB got what he deserved and that is about what Woods should have gotten, if not a harsher action from the PGA, and Big Ben was not charged with anything in the end either.
Sure the kids are a consideration, but is Woods a beneficial figure in their lives? not at all and do not go the route that he has done nothing illegal, that has nothing to do with it. The fact is the behavior that he has exhibited is not at good role modelling for his kids, or anyones kids.
So, forget giving advise and let the adult of the Woods family make the right choices for her kids.

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Mac

Posted at 8:52 PM on April 26, 2010  

First, Divorce bad idea for both kids. And the guy is at least admitting and trying to work things out. So give him, yourself and kids a chance to be a family. If without kids I say o.k. go ahead. But the damage will be to kids mostly. And why give the satisfaction to all these media hype. Hope Elin you do the right thing. We all understand it’s not easy. But there are people who will support you and there are many good therapists out there who can help both of you to put this behind. “Best Wishes to Your Family.”

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KarenM

Posted at 2:48 PM on April 27, 2010  

No one should ever be required to take more of that kind of abouse… it’s not as if he was concerned about Elin’s health, after all. Unsafe sex? Good grief!

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Andrea

Posted at 8:47 PM on April 26, 2010  

Every time you have written an article about Elin and Tiger you have done nothing but ridicule and mock him about everything he says and does. I can’t believe you actually wrote this article advocating Tiger have a permanent place in the children’s lives after the divorce. I am not a fan of his but Elin has no problem leaving the children with him and letting him take them on vacation without Elin along so apparently she does not share your view of his parenting skills. Nice to see something positive about Tiger for a change.

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Red Glenn

Posted at 8:40 PM on April 26, 2010  

If I were Elin, I’d say mind your own business.

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