Elin, Don't Rip Your Kids Away From Tiger By Moving To Sweden — It's A Bad Idea!

Tue, April 27, 2010 9:17am EDT by 76 Comments
Getty Images, INFphoto.com

Getty Images, INFphoto.com

Elin — It’s one thing to take little Sam, 2, and Charlie, 1, for a weeks-long summer vacation to Sweden — but trying to move there permanently is a terrible idea! Here’s why!

Apparently, Elin  your plan is to return to your homeland with your children – for good, according to RadarOnline.com. You want to divorce Tiger and leave Florida behind, for good.

Yes, Elin you may be furious with Tiger and disappointed with his efforts to turn around his behavior as a husband and father, but if you try to force Tiger to let you and the kids return full-time to Sweden you’ll only hurt all of you!

Legally — you won’t have a leg to stand on and emotionally you will be doing serious damage to Sam and Charlie.

Virtually every psychologist I consulted thought it was a bad idea to permanently put such a large physical distance between your children and their dad.

Elin — you have to remember that even though Tiger cheated outrageously and he may not be the best father in the world, it’s still better for your kids to have a dad in their lives versus no dad.

“I always believe that unless a father is abusive it’s always best for children to have both parents in their lives — and in this case, I don’t even think Elin should take them away on a vacation for too long. Tiger was already away in sex rehab  for 45 days– they should see their father,” LA psychologist Jenn Berman, and author of the A to Z Guide to Raising Happy, Confident Kids, tells me.

It’s incredibly important for children to have both parents to attach to, to spend time with and to get love from. The parents are the foundation for a child’s sense of safety and security,” she points out.

You know Elin, she makes a really good point. Tiger may have been a bad husband but he hasn’t been an abusive father. Take it from someone who grew up as a child of divorce — as a child you do want to see your dad. Having him thousands of miles away, as a virtual stranger, only makes a kid feel abandoned.

“At some point — if Elin takes Sam and Charlie away to Sweden — they will ask her — ‘why did you take me away from daddy?’ and she will appear to be the bad guy, points out Dr. Berman.

No doubt with the current obsession with Tiger’s every move and every mistress, Elin feels she and her children will ALWAYS live under a microsope. I can understand why you want to hide out in Sweden. But I guaranteeyou,  that this too will pass.

If you get divorced Elin, and Tiger reverts to his bad boy behavior — it won’t matter. It won’t be big news — he’ll be single and you and your children will be of less and less interest.

“The children have a right to have access to both their parents and typically kids want that,” agrees couple and family psychologist Dr. John Northman. Dr. Northman doesn’t even think  Elin that you should give up on your marriage yet — unless you and Tiger have already tried working hard with a third party trained counselor who can help you both understand what has happened. “I see people all the time where there are multiple infidelities and marriages can survive that, if there are positives to staying together. Marriage isn’t perfect,” he believes.

Well, I understand if that is just too hard to swallow, but you ultimately must do what’s in the best interests of your children.

I believe that even if you get Tiger to agree to moving your children away, they will NOT thank you for it. They will feel as if their dad, Tiger rejected them. It’s not logical maybe, but again as a child of divorce I can tell you — that emotions overrule logic and when little Sam and Charlie get older, they will feel as if their dad didn’t fight for them — as if they weren’t worth fighting for. Their self-esteem will be damaged.

Finally — if you are considering going to battle against Tiger to take your children to Sweden permanently, you need to face reality — you have almost no HOPE of pulling that off legally!

“It’s not going to happen,” says Florida attorney Chris Mancini without a moments hesitation. If Elin tried to take her children out of the country without Tiger’s permission, he could get an emergency court order to prevent her from getting on a plane, he says. Even if she’s in Sweden and refuses to bring them back, a Swedish court will eventually look at her case, deny her request for a custody order and send the custody decision back to the U.S. courts. “If she refuses, the Swedish court will issue an order and the police will t ake the children and escort them back to the U.S., he says.

Mancini — even says that the Florida courts will not allow Tiger and Elin to divide their children’s time between the U.S. and Sweden, in any unreasonable manner.

‘They can’t be allowed to shuttle the kids back and forth. They must provide a stable home environment or the courts will intervene. Tiger and Elin will have to prepare a comprehensive “parenting plan, as part of their divorce and they will have to honor it,” explains Mancini.

So Elin, no matter how badly Tiger cheated on you, legally he wasn’t a bad dad and you can’t punish him by taking away his kids. I don’t advise it on a personal level and the Florida courts won’t allow it!

Sorry Elin, it’s time for you too suck it up and to focus on the best interests of Sam and Charlie! I hope you do!

-Bonnie Fuller

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mr

Posted at 6:38 PM on April 30, 2010  

Have you ever been to Sweden? I’d bring up my kids in Sweden any day if I had close friends and family there. A great place to bring up children – especially girls who are less discriminated against in Sweden than probably any other country in the world.
Get out of that fame, wealth and colour obsessed place and move to a generally safer, greener, more fair and less chauvinistic place. And no, it’s none of my business either. Just annoyed by Bonnie.

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M.Sams

Posted at 7:23 PM on April 29, 2010  

Hey Bonnie! Butt out!

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M.Sams

Posted at 7:22 PM on April 29, 2010  

First off, is it any of our business? No. Does Elin Woods really want your 2 cents in her marriage or divorce for that matter? Again, no. Is Tiger Woods one of the richest people on the planet? Yes. Could he travel to Sweden any time he liked to see his kids? Yes.

And regardless of what all the talking heads say, it’s going to come down to money. Whoever invests the most will get the custody of the kids where they want it.

So why don’t you just butt out? When Elin Woods wants your opinion, I’m sure she’ll be happy to give it to you.

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M.Sams

Posted at 7:21 PM on April 29, 2010  

First off, is it any of our business? No. Does Elin Woods really want your 2 cents in her marriage or divirce for that matter? Again, no. Is Tiger Woods one of the richest people on the planet? Yes. Could he travel to Sweden any time he liked to see his kids? Yes.

And regardless of what all the talking heads say, it’s going to come down to money. Whoever invests the most will get the custody of the kids where they want it.

So why don’t you just butt out? When Elin Woods wants your opinion, I’m sure she’ll be happy to give it to you.

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anne

Posted at 6:19 PM on April 29, 2010  

Dear Bonnie… I don’t think that saying “suck it up” and deal with it to Elin, is really very appropriate. After all, have YOU ever had to deal with the paparazzi 24/7 because your husband is an infamous low life scum bag? I think not! HIS (past) behaviour is now on a daily basis, directly and negatively affecting his children’s lives. Too bad she now has to think about leaving the country just to find peace for herself and her two children. …But who cares, right? According to “you” she should just “suck it up”.

Signed,

Disagree

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Darren Smith

Posted at 4:40 PM on April 29, 2010  

I have to agree with Aimee, this is the worst article written a brainless fool. What the Hell does she know about anything? Like, um, all these psychologists I spoke to at, like, um, Starbucks, they like, um, told me this is a bad idea.

What is this article really about? It is about someone from another country taking kids away from the US. It is because the stupid c*nt does not understand anywhere outside here dim world view.

Get an opinion worth having.

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Aimee

Posted at 12:07 PM on April 29, 2010  

OMG, is this the worst article I’ve ever seen.. Can someone please shut this woman up, or make her write an entire thing about herself so we can just skip it because we don’t want to know about her parents divorce and the way it has made her feel.

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mimi

Posted at 10:52 AM on April 29, 2010  

behind Elin and Tigers doors we dont know whats going on?????….now look at sandra and her adoption, we did not know anything about that,,,so let them all in peace, they need it….

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Judy

Posted at 10:55 PM on April 28, 2010  

I disagree with the above article. First, if it were me I would want to return to my homeland where all of my family and friends are. Second, Tiger was rarely home when they were together, playing in tournaments and diddling with all of those other women, how much did he see his kids then. Third, he has tons of money, if he wants to see them he can fly to Sweden whenever he wants. He should have thought of these consequences before he cheated and thru his marriage away. Wish everyone would stop feeling sorry for this scum bag!

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Olivia Escoto

Posted at 11:34 AM on April 29, 2010  

I totally agree with Judy. My daughter has two children from two separate ex husbands. One husband was a very abusive cop, physically, mentally and sexually to her and her son. She finally was able to get away from him by moving away. Her son is still receiving therapy for it. Her 2nd son was never acknowledged by the father since birth. She is now married again and the step father is the best father that any child would wish for. He is the only “daddy” that her second child knows as he came into his life when he was three yrs. old. The child is now five yrs. old in kindergarten, and he is the one who helps him with his daily homework while mommy fixes dinner. He loves his daddy. The boys are now settled and happy too.

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ThinkerBelle

Posted at 10:24 PM on April 28, 2010  

Chris (2:00pm)
Thanks for pointing out the advantages to raising children in a country as evolved as Sweden. Sarcastic, but RIGHT ON!

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ThinkerBelle

Posted at 10:21 PM on April 28, 2010  

S C, I really appreciate your comment at 12:01 today. Your point asserting that it is clear that Tiger Woods behaviour sends a message that he does not want to be a married man and furthermore he did not honestly communicate that in words to his wife, is the most important point thus far.

Would Elin have married him and have borne his children in the first place, if he had said something honest like I want you to be mine exclusively, but I do not want to be yours exclusively?

In the old days, they used to have “open marriages” but it was not one sided. Both partners had the same freedom.

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Rita

Posted at 4:40 PM on April 28, 2010  

He cheated he did not assault you. Unlike Charlie who hits people, and you never hear about it.

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BG

Posted at 2:50 PM on April 28, 2010  

Wow, there are certainly a lot of anti-father, anti-father’s rights posts in response to this article.

Bonnie, I just wanted you to know that I support what you’re saying, and don’t believe the children should be removed so far from their father, especially if he expresses a desire to be regularly and positively involved in their parenting.

I hope all these negative comments don’t make you feel too bad. Hang in there! You made the right call, and you backed it up from both the legal and psychological angle. Good job!

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anonymous

Posted at 2:43 PM on April 28, 2010  

WOW, AND WOW AGAIN, I AM SO UTTERLY SHOCKED AND IMPRESSED BY THIS ARTICLE BY BONNIE FULLER, AND HOW AMAZINGLY REAL IT IS, AND UNBIASED AND FAIR TO TIGER, AND IN THE BEST INTERESTS OF THEIR CHILDREN,,,,AND LOOKING AT ELIN IN A REAL WAY ABOUT HER RAGE AND ANGER, IS HURTING THEIR KIDS, AND TRYING TO MORE, I AM AGHAST, ABOUT THE SHIFT IN BONNIE FULLER.

KEEP IT UP BONNIE. THIS IS GREAT…THANKS FOR THE SHIFT, IT IS SO VERY REFRESHING. THIS ARTICLE IS RIGHT ON. TIGER IS AND HAS BEEN A GOOD DAD, AND ELIN IS AND HAS BEEN TRAUMATIZING THE KIDS SINCE NOVEMBER. SHE MUST STOP.

AGAIN, MUCH THANKS FOR REALITY. FROM AN APPRECIATIVE READER, FOR TODAY.

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BG

Posted at 2:52 PM on April 28, 2010  

Ha ha. Too funny, anonymous. We must have been writing our similar comments at about the same time. Glad to know I’m not alone in my views! (But I’d suggest staying away from all caps next time.)

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anon

Posted at 2:07 PM on April 28, 2010  

This article is assuming those who wrote are privy and know all the facts involved including Elin’s intentions with the kids and any POSSIBLE move to Sweden. From what Ive read there is also a very large house being built near their current home in Florida for Elin to live in. YOu know what assuming does…no?…makes an Ass of U and Me. Oy.

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anonymous

Posted at 2:46 PM on April 28, 2010  

legally she cannot, and she cannot without tiger’s permission. she is angry and vengeful, and is harming their kids…

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Chris

Posted at 2:00 PM on April 28, 2010  

Yeah your right. Moving to a country where crime hardly exists, where everyone is treated equally, and your life expectancy will extend by around 5 years, such a mistake.

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anonymous

Posted at 2:47 PM on April 28, 2010  

they need their dad badly, they do not need her anger and rage, it is hurting them. she is overfeeding their son also.

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S C

Posted at 12:01 PM on April 28, 2010  

Elin has an obligation to move forward and nurture her children in a strength. If that means living in her country of origin surrounded by friends and family sobeit. She gave her best to living where Tiger wanted, giving Tiger the family, image and model wife he wanted and being there whilst he pursued everything he wanted. Clearly he didn’t want to be married but he forgot to tell her. Tiger is an man with an alarming lack of self awareness and respect for women. Sure he’s turning it around now that he has no other choice – but he had many chances to reform for her and the kids and chose to be a lying cheating playboy – so be single Tiger, be happy Elin.

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anonymous

Posted at 2:48 PM on April 28, 2010  

tiger has done rehab and is continuing, and he has every right to have joint custody and joint visitation with his children. he is healthier than elin at this point. she needs major help and has not gotten any. this is not good for their children at all.

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ThinkerBelle

Posted at 10:31 PM on April 28, 2010  

I liked the ending too,

Be single _________, be happy __________ .

I’m gonna use that line a little closer to home. Thanks.

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mimi

Posted at 10:51 AM on April 28, 2010  

Elin does not want to live next to Tiger and watch was he is doing???????she is doing right,,,,going awy, protecting her children from a maniac, who knows how he was when they were living together?????he must come down from his high horse…..and act normal for the children, they cannot take more drama, Elin is doing right, and dont tell her to “suck it up”, it is so bad what you say??????

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anonymous

Posted at 2:50 PM on April 28, 2010  

as long as they both live within driving distance, this is the best thing for the kids. the law will prevail, and it is the same thing for her as tiger. she has a say if he wanted to move to another country with the kids. it is great the law and tiger wont let her. she is a rageful, very unhealthy person. needs psychological help for the kid’s sake.

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sandy

Posted at 5:24 AM on April 28, 2010  

Don’t even dare tell her to “suck it up”. She’s not the one who destroyed her family!! How can you accuse her like that, are you insane?

You’re taking this far away too personnal!
Tiger Wood isn’t the typical father that works normal job.

Not only he cheated on his wife, he also cheated on his children. Do you think he was thinking of them while he was banging those mistressess? No!!

Also, you’re assuming she will live in Sweden permanently. Did she say that to YOU personally? Are you best friends? Can you ACTUALLY confirm that? Or is that just you being a typical journalist?

And even she was, she’s the mother, and with Tiger Wood permission, she CAN! He is the one who has to make the effort to see his children, not her to be on a Standby with the kids.

Don’t point the bad finger to the person who’s innocent in this case, it makes you sound really pathetic!

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anonymous

Posted at 2:52 PM on April 28, 2010  

she is guilty of traumatizing their children for the last , almost 6 months. tiger has not. he has gone to rehab and is continuing. let go of the past, and understand, what he did has nothing to do with him as a father. she cannot move away, and she is very narcissistic and rageful. the kids are no. 1 and they love and need their daddy. their daddy wants to be an active participant in their lives as well.

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Anna

Posted at 11:39 PM on April 27, 2010  

First off, why do you (the author, or whatever you think you are)automatically assume that Elin is “taking her kids away from their father and poor Tiger, blah blah blah.” Did it ever occur to you that maybe she wants to be near her family and have her children be around their maternal grandparents and family? I’m sick of this s**t about the woman or mom always being the bad guy when the guy/father cheats and F***s up the family. Don’t pretend to be a child expert or psychologist if you’re not, and even if you are, you don’t know them personally and their own individual case. Every family and situation is different. Stop making Elin look like she is out for revenge on Tiger by taking their kids away from him…..besides, he probably wouldn’t even notice if she did. Elin is a gorgeous, classy, good mom who puts her children and family first…..maybe Tiger should have done the same.

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anonymous

Posted at 2:55 PM on April 28, 2010  

THE AUTHOR IS ABSOLUTELY RIGHT ON THE MARK TODAY, AND WE DONT AGREE WITH HER A LOT OF THE TIME. ELIN IS TOTALLY OFF BASE, AND PSYCHOLOGICALLY NOT WELL. SHE HAS NOT GOTTEN ANY HELP, SO THAT IS VERY TELLING FOR ALL. SHE HAS DONE NOTHING BUT BE ENRAGED AND ACT OUT OF ANGER AND RAGE, AND RESENTMENT. THIS HAS TRAUMATIZED THEIR KIDS. THAT IS WRONG. THEY NEED THEIR DAD, WHO IS DOING A TON BETTER, AND WILL CONTINUE.

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me

Posted at 10:53 PM on April 27, 2010  

Wrong advice! She can take them to Sweden with his permission and raise the kids with a large family-hers! With values that apparently Tiger never had or he would not have strayed so callously. The children will thrive just fine and their Dad can afford to visit Sweden anytime he’s interested.

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Tony

Posted at 1:50 AM on April 28, 2010  

she never said she can’t take them to Sweden. try reading what she wrote.

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Charlie Brown

Posted at 11:28 AM on April 28, 2010  

No just that legally and psychologically it would be undoable, in reality however people do it all the time.

The advice of a lawyer, such as in this article, is just an informed opinion and unless he is an expert at swedish divorce law I would take it with a bucket of salt.

 
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anonymous

Posted at 2:57 PM on April 28, 2010  

she can take them to sweden for a visit only. yes she house a house there, and she can go to her house there, when the kids are with tiger, and also when they have visitation with her. but they need to be with both equally. the way elin has been exhibiting her own mental illness in the last months, i am thinking they absolutely need to spend, at least, half time with their dad. they shouldnt have to be with her and her rage and anger at their dad. this is very very unfair and wrong to lay on their kids. they get it. she is a selfish bit__.

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