Kate Controversy! Should She Have Left Her Kids To Get A Fake Tan & Pedicure?

Sun, April 25, 2010 11:05am EDT by Hollywood Life Staff 28 Comments

She left the kids at home with Jon to grab a little “me” time.

Fresh from her latest trip to New York — where she danced with Tony Dovolani on Live with Regis and Kelly on Apr. 23 — Kate Gosselin, 35, returned to her family in Reading, Pa., on Apr. 24. But instead of spending the day with her eight little ones who have been missing her since she’s been out of town so much, she left them at home with Jon so she could spend the day taking care of herself. After getting a pedicure, she was spotted paying a visit to her favorite tanning salon.

Sure, it may look to some of you like she’s not paying enough attention to her kids, but think of it this way: Rehearsing and performing on Dancing with the Stars couldn’t have been easy on Kate’s feet, so maybe she just needed to take care of them. And maybe she has a TV appearance coming up this week, so she wanted a nice tan to look camera-ready.

As for “neglecting” the kids, don’t forget she did just take them all to LA with her for a little trip!

What do you think, BFFs? Was it wrong for Kate to leave the kids with Jon to get a fake tan and pedicure, or does she deserve the “me” time?

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Kate uses her kids as her shield to public scorn.
A mom being away for her DWTS ,brought her kids once to Calif. for a visit and then she goes home, and instead of spending a few days with them..she dumps them on Jon so she can go and get her beauty treatments..
She is a hard hearted business woman first before she acts like a MOM and even then, she is more like a Top Sgt. as she makes all these demands on them and surely she has done this to Jon all along in her marriage.
I have no sympathy for her as I can SEE THROUGH HER and for those people who just ADORE her….I feel sorry for how she has DUPED you too.

Flo

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i am sooooo sick of her. I WISH SHE WOULD WALK AWAY AND NEVER RETURN. SHE HAS ZERO TALENT

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Anyone ever think that it was his visitation day and she was giving him space. I know that I didn’t want to be around my cheating ex anymore than I needed to be.

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She ABSOLUTELY deserves it!!!Everyone else takes time for themselves. This is absurd to even give viewers a chance to comment.

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Rebekah, what’s absurd is your thinking that Kate really deserves all of this “me time”. When you become a mother me time is a luxury, not something you expect. There are months that go by and i have not been out for some “me time”. I don’t fake n bake or get my nails done. Hollywood and EVERYBODY that follows it are not only delusional but superficial. Wake up people, you are teaching our children that it’s ok to go and party to let loose, be superficial,get boob jobs and tatoo’s (you’re so cool, you rebel) it’s ok kids to have sex when you’re only 13, wait whats that? you’re pregnant? oh how wonderful. Go out and party because you lost your youth by raising kids, the grandparents will do it for you , no worries! Our attitdue as a society is pathetic! . Look at these “role models”, anything from movies to sports. Wow, we are truly f’ed up!

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Cassie

Your note on this forum was so ON SPOT..I congratulate you and how you also can SEE THROUGH Kate and all her prima donna antics.
People who say she deserves to pamper herself after that stint on DWTS…are just nuts….do they think she danced
24 hrs? They probably have dinner together or in small groups and do other things together…
she is being paid well for DWTS..And because she has gained such popularity from the show..she is earning BIG BUCKS.
She is not doing DWTS as a charity.
If she wants to be useful to society..why not go back to her nursing on weekends?
jmo
Flo

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how many people look great in this kind of “shoes” anyway?

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Now I see why Kate couldn’t dance.

Besides having zero
rhythm–she has heavy legs and big, flat feet.

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maybe it was jon’s turn with the kids as in she is supposed to give them space – aren’t they still using the house for visitation? plus i didn’t know life stopped because you had kids. how long does that take … an hour?

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god, just get over it. Alot of moms do this and alot of moms work and have to leave the kids, it doesn’t mean she’s neglecting them. John was at home, why should she have to be there when he is. Get a life, and leave hers alone. She is doing much more than John has for the kids, what do you want her to do? Get government support, even if she went back to nursing it would take her away from home. use some common sense.

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Ok, we will leave hers alone!!!!!

haha

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The narcissist does not require, nor does he seek, the love of parents, siblings or even that of his own children. He casts them as the audience in the theater of his inflated grandiosity. He wishes to impress them, shock them, infuse them with awe, inspire them, attract their attention, manipulate them. He employs every means to achieve these effects. He lies, he acts the pitiful, or, its opposite, the resilient and reliable. He stuns and shines with outstanding achievements or behaviors rewarded by the family.

The narcissist is likely to go through a three-phase cycle regarding younger siblings or his own offspring (or even to a new pet!).

The narcissist perceives new family members to be a threat to his Narcissistic Supply. His initial impulse is to belittle them, hurt and humiliate them. Such behaviors would prove to be counter-productive, so he emotionally detaches, becomes emotionally absent, cold and uninterested — and may redirect his anger at his mate or at his parents. During this interim he indulges in his delusions of grandeur and fantasies of future triumphs.

Alternately, some narcissists “take over” the newcomer. They seek to manipulate their parents or their mate by monopolizing their siblings or their newborn children. In this way, they indirectly benefit from the attention directed at the infants — “what an outstanding father/brother he is”. He also assumes part of or all the credit for baby’s/sibling’s achievements. This process of annexation and assimilation is a strategy that the narcissist makes use of in most of his relationships.

As siblings or offspring grow older, the narcissist begins to see them as potential, reliable Sources of Narcissistic Supply. He encourages them to idolize him, to adore him, to learn to blindly trust and obey him, to surrender to his charisma and to become submerged in his delusions of grandeur. (It is at this stage that the risk of child abuse – from emotional incest and up to and including outright incest – is heightened.) As siblings or offspring mature, they often refuse to continue to play the mindless pawns in his chess game. They hold grudges against the narcissist for what he has done to them in the past. They can now better gauge his true stature, talents and achievements.

This brings the narcissist full-circle. Again he perceives his siblings or children as threats. He becomes uninterested, emotionally cold and remote, absent, citing life pressures and the preciousness and scarceness of his time. He wants to abandon his commitments to people who have become totally useless (or even damaging) to him. He either withdraws from the relationship or attacks it directly. To justify his acts to himself, he slowly develops conspiracy theories with clear paranoid undertones.

To his mind, the members of the family conspire against him, seek to belittle or humiliate or subordinate him, do not understand him, or stymie his growth. The narcissist usually finally gets what he wants and the family that he has created disintegrates to his great sorrow (due to the loss of the Narcissistic Space) – but also to his great relief and surprise (how could they have let go someone as unique as he?).

In summary, the narcissist is likely to go through three phases with (younger) siblings or with his own children. This is the cycle: the narcissist feels threatened by arrival of new family members – he tries to assimilate or annex of siblings or offspring – he obtains Narcissistic Supply from them – he overvalues and idealizes these newfound sources – as sources grow older and independent, they adopt anti narcissistic behaviours – the narcissist devalues them – the narcissist feels stifled and trapped – the narcissist becomes paranoid – the narcissist rebels and the family disintegrates.

This cycle is also to be found in other realms of the narcissist’s life — his career, for instance. At work, he initially feels threatened (no one knows him, he is a nobody). Then, he develops a circle of admirers in order to obtain Narcissistic Supply from them. He overvalues them (to him, they are the brightest, the most loyal). But following some anti-narcissistic behaviors on their part (a refusal, a disagreement) the narcissist devalues these individuals. They are judged by him to be stupid, cowardly, lacking in ambition, skills and talents, common. He feels that he is wasting his scarce and invaluable resources on them. He feels trapped. Rebelling in this arena is self-defeating and leads to the disintegration of his life.

Custody and Visitation: A parent diagnosed with full-fledged Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) should be denied custody and be granted only restricted rights of visitation under supervision.

Narcissists accord the same treatment to children and adults. They regard both as sources of narcissistic supply, mere instruments of gratification – idealize them at first and then devalue them in favour of alternative, safer and more subservient, sources. Such treatment is traumatic and can have long-lasting emotional effects.

The narcissist’s inability to acknowledge and abide by the personal boundaries set by others puts the child at heightened risk of abuse – verbal, emotional, physical, and, often, sexual. His possessiveness and panoply of indiscriminate negative emotions – transformations of aggression, such as rage and envy – hinder his ability to act as a “good enough” parent. His propensities for reckless behavior, substance abuse, and sexual deviance endanger the child’s welfare, or even his or her life.

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Ummmmmmmm, Wow. Overreaction much?

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i don’t blame her for getting “me” time she is raising her kids virtually alone while d-b-ex is chasing the poon . she is trying to make a living , what the hell is mr g doing. NOW he says as per link above “OH IT’s OK for the kids to be on tv” well gee looks like daddy needs some moolah. but the main bottom line is who the hell cares. the kids are fed they are not being neglected.

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KATE SHOULD NEVER HAVE GONE TO A TANNING SALON AS THAT IS A REALLY BAD EXAMPLE FOR HER CHILDREN. MORE AND MORE YOUNG PEOPLE ARE GETTING MELANOMA FROM TANNING SALONS, AND THAT IS DEADLY. WHAT A BAD EXAMPLE FOR HER CHILDREN. SHE IS NOT A GOOD MOTHER, SHE IS VERY VERY SELFISH.

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You guys made a really good point – it probably was Jon’s time to be with kids. Kate’s been making sure he gets more time with them and she just had them for the past week in LA. Give the woman a break, after all the dancing and flying she’s been doing, her feet NEED a pedi!

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It’s also being reported that it was douch…er Jon’s visitation with the kids…and she was turned away at the gates to her own home. I would go for a mani-pedi and tan too..to keep from strangling him.

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It is probaly his turn for visitation. So let her enjoy some of her alone time by pampering herself.

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Well this is stupid. For all we know Jon had custody of the kids. They do have a custody arrangement. Besides a few hours away from the kids isn’t hurting anybody.

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I left my kids with their dad to go out everyonce in a while, he is their dad after all. Let Kate have some fun while Jon spends his visitation time with the kids, what else is she suppose to do during Jons time, stay there with him too?

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Kate should have left and kept walking farther and farther and farther and never return again.

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I love that Angel/givemeabreak are so stupid that he/she has managed to show everyone what the Kate haters do. Create different account’s on any comment board they can find and pretend to be different people that hate Kate G. Get a life losers…no one cares. It’s killing them that all the people that have interacted with her on DWTS have all said she’s nice and they got along with her….but they must ALL be lying right?

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Khate should have left,and kept walking farther and farther and farther, until she disappeared never to return again.

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This woman has courage. Could you dance with the stars? For God’s sake let her relax.

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Personally, I think every woman deserves to get out of house every now and then and spoil themselves, but I’m not going to judge her her decision.

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of course she can go out for this and that come on now? the children in that age play all the time…..anyway!

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i agree, although jon sucks as a dad so i wouldn’t want to leave 8 kids with him, but hey, momma needs some pampering!

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sooo whatt… isn’t she allowed some time for herself…she is the only parent trying bring money into the family and she works hard… Leave her alone….Only one thing, Kate, if you want to be on camera and live in Hollywood, SMILE MORE…YOU LOOK SO MEAN WHEN YOU CONSTANT DON’T SMILE…. YOU LOOK PLEASANT WHEN YOU SMILE…SO SMILE MORE…. YOU WON’T BE PERCEIVED AS SUCH A BEEEOTCH.

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