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Why Do Cheaters — Like Jesse & Tiger — Tell Their Mistresses Their Marriages Are Shams?

Tue, March 23, 2010 2:27pm EDT by 4 Comments

032310_james_woods_insets_544_XXXXWhy do men always think they can have their cake and eat it, too, when it comes to having both a wife and mistress? Relationship experts weigh in!

Jesse James told his heavily tattooed mistress, Michelle ‘Bombshell’ McGee, that his marriage to Sandra Bullock was “a sham,” claims Michelle’s ex-husband, Shane Modica. This isn’t the first time we’ve heard the “my marriage is really over” excuse, either — love rat Tiger Woods allegedly fed two of his mistresses the same line.

But why do guys do this – and how do they get away with it? contacted two relationship experts, who explained why cheaters like Tiger and Jesse think they can play with someone other than their marital partner — and not get caught.

“[These guys] want to have their cake and eat it too,” New York-based relationship expert Amanda Kane told us. “They want to placate the mistresses because they want them to feel like they are the only people in the world AND save their marriages.”

Tiger, 34, reportedly told one of his first mistresses, an unnamed 20-year-old cocktail waitress from Fla., that his engagement to Elin Nordegren was “only for publicity.” Alleged mistress number 14, Theresa Rogers, told a pal that Tiger maintained his marriage was simply to “boost his public image.” Meanwhile, Jesse’s San Diego-based stripper mistress Michelle McGee told her former husband, Shane, that Jesse, 40, said his nearly five-year marriage with Sandra, 45, was “a sham.”

Relationship expert Amy Levine agrees with Amanda Kane that some men tend to think they can have it all. “They seem to play both sides of the coin, so to speak,” she said. “Some people with sex addiction may do this, and it’s a form of manipulation to get what they want.”

Check out Popeater for more news on Sandra Bullock

Unfortunately for these guys, cheaters don’t seem to prosper. Although Tiger’s wife, Elin, 30, is reportedly staying with the philandering golf pro (albeit, reluctantly), Jesse isn’t so lucky. Just one week after news of the affair broke in In Touch Weekly, Sandra, 45, has already moved out of the family’s Los Angeles home and, as of March 23, her friends are claiming the Academy award-winning actress is ready to file for divorce.

“[Sandra] is in a really difficult position because this is so incredibly public,” Kane rationalized. “She needs the support of friends and family to rally around her through this period. I would tell her to think of herself first and take care of herself first before she acts. [Sandra should] reflect on the situation and process it.”

Keep Reading For More on the Upsetting Jesse James Cheating Scandal:

  1. Sandra Bullock And Jesse James Contact Divorce Lawyers!
  2. Sandra Bullock And Jesse James’ Marriage A ‘Sham?’
  3. Hey BFFs — What A Burn! Watch Sandra Bullock Gush Over Jesse James!
  4. Shock! Sandra Bullock Moves Out! Is Her Marriage Over?
  5. Does Jesse James Have a Type … Tattooed? And Is Ink-Free Sandra The Odd Woman Out?
  6. EXCLUSIVE! The Day After The Oscars, Jesse James’ Alleged Mistress Complained About A Lack Of Sex
  7. Sandra Bullock Heartbroken! Will She Still Fight For Jesse James To Win Custody Of His Little Girl?
  8. Jesse James Made Shocking Accusations of Violence Against His Ex-Wife!