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BONNIE SAYS! Sandra Bullock — Stop Hiding! Here's How To Get Sweet Revenge!

chloe Tue, March 23, 2010 6:59pm EDT by Chloe Melas 26 Comments
BONNIE SAYS! Sandra Bullock — Stop Hiding! Here's How To Get Sweet Revenge!
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Sandra – it’s enough already. You need to stop cancelling your European Blind Side premieres, and acting like you have something to be ashamed of!

No more tail between the legs Sandra! You’ve done nothing wrong. You didn’t cheat! You didn’t sleep with a skanky Nazi admirer. You didn’t embarrass your mate and your children.

No, you were a loving supportive wife who thanked your husband effusively for “having your back” and “coming to awards shows” and for being “hot.”

You have every right to be heartbroken, angry, embarrassed, hurt and completely and utterly furious. No one would blame you if you took all his clothes and dumped them out on the street or if you just accidentally happened to drop your Oscar onto the fender of Jesse’s red Ducati — OOPS!

But what would be even better is if you uncanceled your canceled European premieres of Blind Side, got yourself all dolled up in a classy, sexy gown — see our suggestions — held your head high, smiled and proudly walked in front of you cheering fans. And believe me, they would cheer like crazy! You would feel the love. I know our readers love you and are there for you.

Every woman has been through their own version of an awful breakup. We can ALL sympathize!

“Sandra — do what’s right for yourself. Go to your premieres because you are the best Oscar actress winner. This more than Jesse or ‘Bombshell’ can ever have,” says reader Josette.

And she’s right! Why should you hurt your career in any way because of Jesse’s lowlife behavior.

Oh, and when you walk that red carpet, pull an Elin — DON’T wear your wedding ring, and make sure all the photographers can see it. That ringless finger is a ladylike version of giving Jesse and Michelle the finger!

Whatever you do Sandra DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT blame yourself for Jesse’s cheating for one nanosecond! “Men don’t cheat because they want to have sex with someone sexier or prettier. They do it because they are threatened by someone who is outshining them and they pick women who are easily available,” says Amelia Parry, editor-in-chief of

Sandra —you have no control over Jesse’s pathetic insecurities!

Now Sandra, this should be your time of triumph. Despite Jesse, you’re no doubt getting deluged with scripts. says you’re considering a film co-starring your “lesbian lover” Meryl Streep. That’s great!

Pick a great film. Throw yourself into work. Spend time with the people who love you.

But also, go out to some highly public events with gorgeous single eligible Hollywood bachelors who’d love to spend some time in your company — like Jake Gyllenhaal, Ryan Gosling — your Murder By Numbers co-star — or Gerard Butler, who will flirt with you and make you laugh!” Show that you’re a strong, confident woman, Sandra” agrees Jo Piazza, columnist. “By going into hiding, you’re letting Jesse win!”.

Sandra — just pretend you’re Leigh Anne Tuohy — your Blind Side character.

What would she do? Hold her head high, get out of the house and kick that no-good soon-to-be-ex husband to the curb!


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