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Victoria — you need to eat a sandwich, and FAST!

Victoria Beckham, you’ve always been skinny, but now you’re positively a toothpick. Look at you — you’re so thin it looks like we could fold you up and put you in your Hermes purse! Your bones are jutting out of your chest Rachel Zoe-style, and your head looks like a lollipop that’s too big for your body. Posh — we’re worried about you!

The thing is, you must think this spindly-legged look is attractive. Why else would you have featured all models that were as skinny as you in your Feb. 14th fashion show for your new fall collection. Well, Victoria let me tell you — full-figured Jennifer Hudson looked way better in one of your designs at this year’s Grammy Awards than that model. So for the sake of you hunky husband, Dave Beckham, and your three adorable boys: EAT Something!!

—Bonnie Fuller

Read More About Victoria Beckham:

1. Kendra, You Should Take Notes From Victoria Beckham On How to Comfort Your Guy After a Big Loss!
2. David Beckham May Have Cheated But His Wife Victoria Says ‘It’s Not Healthy To Be Jealous’
3. Do You Really Want to Watch Victoria Beckham Co-Host the View?