With a little help from my friends Kim and Khloe Kardashian, I managed to actually lose weight on QuickTrim’s 14-day Burn & Cleanse program!
OK, OK. Admittedly, I still don’t look as phenomenal as Kim Kardashian does when she struts around in her teeny weeny bikini on her QuickTrim commercial (which seems to be on every single time I turn on my TV). But I can report that QuickTrim’s 14-day Burn & Cleanse actually did help me shed the excess weight I packed on over the holidays.
I didn’t even follow the plan as closely as I should have. I tried to eat healthier and work out at least a few times a week. Oh, and I drank a LOT of water. Not too shabby when you consider the results – I lost six pounds in 14 days…and even better, I’ve kept it off! That’s what I’m talkin’ bout.
5:42 a.m. I hate my alarm. Only two days left on the plan and I’m determined to stay focused. Must.Not.Go.Back.To.Sleep.ZZZZZZ.
SIDE NOTE: It just took me three tries to spell ‘focused.’ Not a morning person. I’m barely even human. Trust me.
8:30 a.m. As I’m combining my favorite cereals for breakfast, the voice of Khloe Kardashian enters my head. “I love food- but sometimes my eyes are bigger than my stomach,” the little voice says. “Taking QuickTrim helped me learn that portion control was my biggest problem.” I put down the cereal box and walk away slowly. And sadly.
9:00 p.m. Between prepping for the Golden Globes this Sunday and going to all the pre-Globes events, my life has been over-taken by skinny actresses. So demoralizing. I must think thin, so I scarf down some sushi — a California roll — and edamame. Healthy!
NOTE TO SELF: Next time I try QT (the cool kids’ version of QuickTrim), I’m not going to take it during awards season. Dumbest choice of all time.
10:28 p.m. Tom and Katie Cruise just walked into the New York Times pre-Golden Globe party at the Chateau Marmont. Hand me a glass of Dom — this is a total OMG moment. Congrats to me! I’m as cool as Tom and Katie! (Don’t make fun of me, it’s the champagne talking.)
11:32 p.m. Oh, brother. I’m not supposed to have any alcohol on this plan, but I can’t help it — if everyone’s toasting Tom Cruise — and he’s actually in the room — you toast. ‘Nuff said.
9:53 a.m. “Bagel Store & Java.” I know that pulling into this store is a very bad decision, but I have to cover a Golden Globes gifting suite all day and I’m not sure if there’s going to be any food.
10:42 a.m. I’ve been savoring this bagel. And orange juice. Simple carbs rock. But not when you’re on the QT plan, apparently.
5:30 p.m. Good thing I ate the equivalent to six pieces of bread (bagel) and a tub of lard (cream cheese) with 16 spoonfuls of sugar (OJ) this morning. I still haven’t eaten lunch or any snacks. Where’s the food in this place?
1:30 a.m. Falling asleep to ‘How I Met Your Mother’ season two, disc one. Oh, I finally had an incredible dinner of (drum roll, please) Lean Cuisine Santa Fe Rice and Beans. What a non-treat.
8:35 a.m. Today is my first Golden Globes Awards and my last day of QuickTrim! The timing couldn’t be better. I was supposed to sleep in this morning, but I’m too excited and there’s so much to be done. Eating oatmeal for breakfast.
12:48 p.m. Working out like a beast. I’m on the treadmill and this routine is kicking my butt.
8:00 p.m. I’ve been running around like a freak getting ready for the Globes (hair, makeup, the works) and I’m stoked to show off my fancy little dress and slimmer bod at the after-parties.
11:16 p.m. Still haven’t eaten, but I’m SOO thirsty. The bartender at the NBC afterparty is such an angel — this Cosmo tastes delish.
11:31 p.m. Cosmo #2 — tastier than the first.
12:00 a.m. Must. Eat. Vittles. (Also know as: FOOD!!!!).
5:00 a.m. Still awake.
6:00 a.m. I haven’t slept — but I DID weigh myself, and after two weeks on QuickTrim’s Burn & Cleanse, I’ve lost 6.36 pounds! Woo-hoo!! Go go, Power Rangers! Holy Moly, Batman!
Yes. I feel like a super hero. As well I should. I had to give up food and, more importantly, BOOZE (kind of) for two weeks!
Thank you all for your support throughout this brief — albeit, intense QuickTrim journey. If you’re curious about whether or not a diet or workout plan really works, please let me know. I’m a glutton for punishment, so you never know – I just might try it. Ole!
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