Just who are you kidding, Vicky Beckham? Your tukkis is like a pancake – and J. Lo’s is like a grapefruit!
I mean….really, Victoria? Comparing your stick-thin body to Jennifer Lopez’s curves would be like comparing apples to oranges – if only there was anything rotund at ALL about you. But there’s not, so please stop trying to put one over on us.
While discussing your new fashion line with 10 magazine, you said, “My dresses are for women of all different shapes and sizes. Actually, the one I tried on yesterday was the one Jennifer wore. Who’d have thought I’d be the same size as Jennifer Lopez!”
Um, not me. Because Vicky, no matter how much you envy Jennifer’s ghetto booty, you ain’t never going to get it.
You should be happy with who you are. If you really think – in a crazytown kind of way – that you look like J. Lo, please never, ever look at photos of the two of you side by side. Yeah, like the one above. It will just be bad for your morale.
I will say this — you might envy Jennifer’s booty – but she probably envies you your husband, the oft-shirtless soccer stud David Beckham. Can you imagine sleeping next to Marc Anthony every night?
Yup, neither can I. And on that note…