You would make the perfect host of “Monday Night Raw!”
Dearest Spencer Pratt,
You’ve had your fair share of scuffles in Hollywood — your ridiculous feud with a certain jolly weatherman comes to mind — but now you’re being challenged by an opponent who really packs a punch. WWE superstar Ted DiBiase told me he wants you to host an episode of “Monday Night Raw” because he’d “love to beat the crap” out of you — and I think it would be a brilliant career move for you to accept his challenge!
Take a look at the show’s recent hosts: Snoop Dogg, Verne Troyer, Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne, Johnny Damon — these people are pop culture icons, just like you! Don’t tell me you couldn’t close your eyes and picture yourself at the center of the WWE ring, microphone in hand, causing trouble for millions of fans to see.
Not to mention, you’re the master of manipulation! Just look at how you tried to sneak off and get a vasectomy when your wife, Heidi Montag, wanted to get pregnant — or the way you took over your sister Stephanie Pratt‘s apartment when you crashed on her couch. If you’d go as far as to screw over your own family members, I’d love to see what kind of hell you could raise in the already dramatic WWE world.
Spencer, your ruthlessness knows no bounds — and hosting an episode of “Monday Night Raw” would be the perfect opportunity to show the world just how low you can go.
(Oh, and if you need a reporter to be ringside with you, I might know a guy who wouldn’t mind clearing his schedule.)
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