Hey, New Moon Fans: You Sure Showed Those Critics — To The Tune of $72.7 Million, Bonnie Says

Sun, November 22, 2009 1:03pm EST by Add first Comment

112209_robertpattinsonfans_spl138886_032

Hey girlfriends, what was the problem with all those vampire-dissing, love-lacking movie critics who were so stingy with their stars?

Guess they’re just a bunch of film geeks, who are lucky they go to preview screenings cause they wouldn’t get anyone to go out on a Sat. night movie date anyway! We showed them what us girls could do at the box office when there’s finally a film with a dramatic unrequited love triangle, all kinds of roadblocks to romance and both breathtaking naked male abs and a gorgeous, brooding, chiseled face.

I just came back from seeing New Moon for the second time and I can bet those critics never hoot, holler and gasp during any movie they watch — not like we do. I took my teen daughter and three of her friends, and the first two words they had to say when the lights came back up were — ” TAYLOR LAUTNER” ! Then, “TAYLOR LAUTNER’s ABS!”, Then, “IT’S SO UNFAIR — the ending is so sudden — HOW ARE WE GOING TO WAIT UNTIL NEXT SPRING FOR THE SEQUEL?”

Are you listening, Summit Entertainment? Not only did New Moon obliterate records – becoming the BIGGEST Fri/single day record EVER, according to Deadline.com but you’ve got millions of females desperate for your next installment, already. Word of warning to Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner: better get used to NOT living in obscurity. Like it or not, K-Stew and R-Patz, you are celebrities now. And Kristen, good time to lose the smokes or you won’t be able to handle any more of those desperate running scenes. Besides, your skin is so porcelain-perfect, you really don’t want to do anything to age its perfection!

Bonnie Fuller

Leave a Reply

To comment, please fill in the fields below, enter your comment and select the Comment button.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s